A
male
age
36-40,
*boutToGetMarried
writes:I am engaged to woman w/ a very promiscuous past and want to confirm that she will be faithful by asking to read her facebook/text messages/emails for peace of mind. I will only do it once and ensure her that it will only be once. I also have a promiscuous past but for the past 4 years, I have come to realize the importance of meaningful and loving monogamy.I absolutely love this woman and adore her. No woman on this planet has ever made me feel this way--not even close.My background: 28 years old. I have had dozens of women but never desired to have threesomes or get any other woman involved (definitely no men).My fiancee: 24 years old. She has had dozens of partners, is bi, had many threesomes with both men and women, been tag teamed many times, etc. She is still friends with well over a dozen of her previous sexual partners and hangs out with them from time to time.She is very flirty with men and thinks it's important for her to make men feel good because she gives them "healthy" attention from the opposite sex that they would otherwise not receive. I love how sexual she is but at times, I can't help but think she is still craving for attention. She is absolutely beautiful and has a tremendous amount of sex appeal. This woman is not easy to handle! If I go to the bathroom at a bar, I come back from the restroom with at least one other guy talking to her. I am not sure if this is the way men are or if she is giving them the "fuck me" eyes with the intent of them coming over to her.I am a very successful entrepreneur and have a lot more to lose than her. It is important that I make the right decision. I am not comfortable at all with her sexual past because the thought of two guys with her at the same time disgusts me. However, I am a confident man and can deal with her sexual past. Furthermore, I can deal with the bi thing I guess and she wants me to watch her but I will not have any part of it. I don't want the other girl involved to have her boyfriend watch it either (I can picture the situation of the other guy being there trying to get in on the action).I am trying to approach this as rationally as I can. I never thought the woman of my dreams would have such a wild past. I am very fortunate that she has been open and honest with me...I just need this confirmation before we take the next step.I just need some opinions on this and would like to ask - Am I justified in feeling this way?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Helpry  +, writes (7 November 2012):
Do you trust this woman? She has been open and honest with you about her very promiscuous past, so why do you feel the need to read her Facebook, texts and e-mails? To be honest with you it sounds as if you are very suspicious of your fiancée. You asked this woman to marry you even after you knew about her past, did you even think about what marriage actually entails? Marriage should be about honesty, trust, love and equality. You do not trust this woman. If you did you would not want to read her correspondence with other people. I think that you should have a really good think about entering into marriage with this woman, have an open discussion with your Fiancée and tell her of your fears and insecurities and see where you both think that your relationship is heading. Otherwise, I think, she could end up marrying a man that she will grow to loath because of the mistrust and jealousy.
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