A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:It has been a while that I have written on this. So, there is this guy I've known for the last three years of high school and we've kept contact streaming into the life of college. Throughout the years I 've known him since high school we've managed to create a great bond of chemistry, physical chemistry, emotional chemistry and just formulating a great bond altogether. Creating along with that a flirtationship. But for those years and now three years and a half, I've begun to notice that I've been chugged to the back burner so many times but was in denial to it. It seemed as if we had something like a committed relationship but it was never official, instead, I was told to stay around as a company because I was "cared about" while I stood to the side and watched him rather be in other relationships instead. So basically I was always placed in the role of the side chick. Or the one who had to wait for temporary affection. I know this wasn't the best role or stupid to be in even. I tried to tell myself that I needed better and I needed to stop listening to his false words of hope for us. Though, when I do try and break away it's like he doesn't want me to leave his life, he doesn't want me to get over him.But what he hasn't realized was throughout those three years it broke me down so much making me wonder if there was something wrong with me, that if I was the problem wishing I could change some things about myself that I knew I couldn't just so I could be like those girls he preferred. I've been there literally through thick and thin with him, listened to him vent, even cried to one another once and shared some really deep moments that lead up to the point where we had sex. But still, when it came down to it I was still dis-own and never claimed. My title was always "a good friend" or "company". He has told me he has strong feelings for me but always leaves me so confused. he has told me he loved me but is it just lies? But we are in to deep for it to be. when it comes to me I'm always in the shadow but with other girls, he dates he doesn't mind flaunting even if it's in my face then tells me not to sweat it and he still cares when he notices that I feel a way. I feel so delusional. Please give some quality advice and please help. I'm scared that I'll fall too deep in love and damage myself in the process. It's like one can't have enough of the other and get upset when we see each other with someone else. But is it me or is he after all these year's still toying with me
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female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (7 September 2016):
Its not easy when you are in-love with someone and they are not in love with you.As you have asked the question..AM I JUST THE SIDE CHICK..You have answered your own question,and Yes you are the side chick.This is not love on his side just a handy sexual encounter and he tells you what he know you want to hear.His behaviour towards you is not very nice.Remember you are being treated the way you allow people to treat you,in this case this boy.You deserve a boyfriend who will treat you with respect,love and value you as a person.Would you consider blocking your no from this guy.Because you are only hurting yourself with him.Kind regards NORA B.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (6 September 2016):
 In a nutshell, he likes having someone around that he can flirt with and have sex with when he's not in a relationship.
He values you as a friend and nothing more and it doesn't sound like it will be anything more than that.
He probably knows that you've fallen for him and it strokes his ego a bit therefore like you said he will never let you get over him. As long as you give him what he wants (probably sex) then he will keep you around.
It's a grim situation to be in because you're always going to be comparing yourself to the other girls he dates and affecting your self confidence.
This will never be more than friendship, if you want to get over him you need to separate yourself from him. Even to the extent of blocking him so that he can't contact you. I know you won't want to do this, but you'll struggle to get over him otherwise.
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