A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know if I'm a jealous guy, or if I'm just too insecure with myself ... My problem is, my wife's sister got herself in a rough spot, so we took her into our home and have taken care of her for the past year.Before this, my wife and I would always talk about how great our relationship was compared to everyone we knew. We communicated with each other, we had regular great sex, we cuddled, hugged, kissed.... everything you can imagine in a great marriage, I used to have.Since her sister has been here, and I've had the added stress of taking care of someone else's problems, things went south. Her sister's boyfriend started staying around a lot and he's the type of guy who is off the wall, witty, spontaneous. I don't have any personal issues with him, we both get along.At first nothing between her and I have changed, but after awhile, she started to talk about him to a point where it would make me uncomfortable, always about this guy and how funny he was. She started looking at him so much to a point that it makes me uncomfortable. I brought this to her attention, but whenever I do, she gets really angry with me...She doesn't say I love you as much to me anymore. We don't even cuddle even though I ask, she always has a reason not to. She doesn't want to have sex anymore, or even wants to kiss. I have to fight to get the kind of love and attention I had before this mess. She criticizes me a lot now as well, or just generally makes me feel pretty low at times about myself. Last night, we had this guy over for a few drinks, I kept my jealousy and insecurities at bay, didn't show I was uncomfortable, I even tested her by suggesting things. He would pass out and she would tell me to wake him up, I didn't want to and tole her to do it. So she shoves ice down the crotch side of his pants. Or lightly (suggestively?) runs her nails along his neck and torso. I don't even frigging get that myself, and yet here I am watching him receive that.I don't know what to do. Am I just overly jealous, or is this a legitimate issue that I should strongly pursue, and if so, in either case, how can solve it. At this point, I'm nearly ready to throw the towel in. I lost my wife to someone else in my eyes. All because her stupid sister screwed up her own life and now she's gone and screwed up the only good thing I've ever had in mine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): hmmm you seem wounded in your ego that your mum can flirt with this person - of course he is structurally safe from her she wouldn't shag her own sisters BF. (of course it might be a turn on for him)
you haven't lost this by a long way, you are just being miserable about it and thats not helping one inch.
So what do you do - spend time with your wife, go out and enjoy - don't worry, just flirt back with her. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Take her out, shag her, do what you enjoy together. She chose you over all other men. remember that - All other.
Star.x.
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