A
female
age
41-50,
*riscoe
writes:i'm so confused! and i apologise this is long. here it goes, so my bf and i have been together just over 5 years. we almost broke up in march (he felt we had no future, i'm a bit of a procrastinater, and wanted to buy a house, because his lease was up and he no longer wanted to rent) but decided we would try and work things out, 5 years is a long time to just give up. we decided we would take care of our stuff, which we've been doing and after we did this we'd concentrate on us. i know this sounds crazy, but he recently did buy a house and i still live in my apartment, which is o.k. with me. i lost my job in january and am going through some legal matters due to this so i have no way of helping him financially and i don't want him to resent me because of this. i told him i see nothing wrong with me staying here (in apt) until my life gets back on track and seeing as we almost broke-up i though this approach would be the best and i don't want to have to depend on him, love doesn't pay the bills. and i'm a strong believer in sharing the costs, i've never had a man pay my way. help yes, but never take total care of me. so here's where i'm confused, we've been taking things slow in rebuilding this relationship. i told him to take care of the things he needed to do in regards to buying his home, i know it's a huge process and he's very busy and doesn't have a lot of time for me right now, plus he works during the day 8-5. however, the last time we saw each other or spoke was on may 12th, a month ago, we have kept in touch through e-mail. that weekend (may 14th) he looked at a house and two weeks ago he became the proud owner. so the last few e-mails he's sent me he's said how sorry he is for not calling he's just so busy, finalising the deal with the house, moving in, and just getting everything set up all the while working during the day. i should probably tell you that a month ago he told me we were still together and that he did want to continue working on us but things were just crazy for him right now, give him time with no pressure and when he's settled we'll work on us. and his e-mails still end with "i love you" or "love, his name here" haha! and a smily face. and i've told him i'll wait but not to drag me through this if he has no intention on working on this relationship, so now i'm trusting him with my heart and trusting he's being honest with me. remember i told him to take time for himself and call me when he's ready. so tell me folks, am i being a total fool or do you think he's being sincere and needs time for himself right now. and men, please feel free to answer, it's always good to get a guys opinion. thank-you :)
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