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female
,
*ophie1980
writes: I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 months now. This is my first lesbian relationship whereas she has been dating women for many yrs (she's 9 yrs older than me) and last year ended a 5 yr relationship. I am really happy in the relationship and have really fallen for her but sometimes I wonder whether she feels the same way. I buy her flowers, balloons, chocolates, write her cards but she doesn't seem to appreciate the gesture and has never reciprocated. I am also more affectionate - I will go to hold her hand, hug her, kiss her whereas she doesn't initiate this as much. We don't have much in common but we have definitely hit it off and the sex is great, although my sex drive is much bigger than hers. I am just wondering how I tell if she really likes me. We spend a lot of time together and we text and call each other, which I don't think she'd do if she wasn't interested. But I am wondering whether I am just another girl she's dating or whether she really does care for me.
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female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (28 December 2005):
 Mommyofthree is right, in most relationships there will be one that is more affectionate than the other some mind some do, but if you want her to know how you feel tell her! If she really cares about you she will listen to what you have to say and work on it.
All relationships have these problems, but if you don't talk about it then how will you know that there is a problem?
A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (23 December 2005):
 In most relationships think you will find that one person will do most of the initiating. I would suggest that you bring it up to your girlfriend, in a non confrontational way. Ask her how she feels about you, and tell her that sometimes it is hard to tell because she does not show it in little ways like reaching for your hand or initiating a kiss from time to time. It may not be that she doesn't want to but because she has grown used to you doing it all the time. Take care.
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