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Am I incapable of having an orgasm?

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Question - (15 March 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 14 May 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am 20 years old and i dont know if ive ever had an orgasm well i dont think i have my question is what can me and my partner do and how will i kno and pleas dont reply o u'll just kno. ive been with him for 6 years on and off so its not that i feel unconfterble i dont, and ive been with other people so i kno its not them. its definetly me. i mean sex feels good and i get wet i just dont feel this amazing feeling and ive tried hard sex solf sex masterbating the whole nine yards. am i uncapable of haveing an orgasm? is that possible and if not what the **** am i doin wrong?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

good news i had my first orgasm and many since:) ur advice helped ALOT!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for your feedback im going to take your advice and experiment with my clitoris and see if i can have an orgasm by myself and hopefully then i can direct my boyfriend so that he can truly pleasure me and denny thanks also im the typ of person who is normally very closed i never let my true feelings show and i hide alot but im going to talk to him and let him kno whats going on and hopefully he will give me reasuence

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A male reader, surewhynot? United States +, writes (15 March 2009):

Are you incapable of being pleased? I think so. First, you must learn to please yourself. Have you tried that? Try stimulating your clitoris with masturbation. Consider using a sex toy like a dildo or vibrator. The bottom line is, if you have a clitoris, you most likely can be pleased, but you have to learn to please yourself first, or your not going to be able to give him any direction what so every.

Personal Experience- I was with a woman once with a clitoral circumstance. Her clitoral nerves were a little off center. It was very hard to please her, and bring her to an orgasm. I found it quite challenging. One night, I had her over, and I began performing oral sex on her. She directed me as to how much pressure to apply with my tongue, which direction and how to move my tongue, and how far to insert my finger in the canal of her vagina. Her nerves were off center indeed! However, I loved her, and was not willing to give up. She directed me, and I successfully brought her to an orgasm simply with my tongue, and she had never had a man do that without her personal physical intervention before. A very touching moment. We both cried with joy, and disbelief of debunking our own doubts that only she could pleasure herself.

Lesson 1- If she had never learned for herself on how her clitoris was through her self exploration of her clitoris, we would have never achieved this.

Lesson 2- It took 2 to make this thing go write. She was the composer guiding me, and I was the symphony. Through those efforts, we made the music she longed to hear.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (15 March 2009):

DoubleM agony auntJust not with a man who can make it happen for you. It's a very common problem, unfortunately.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for the reply ur r 100 percent right and u justmade me relize what my problem is and maybe now i can overcome it

but i think alot like my brain is going 24 7 so when were doing it i start to get into it but then everytime its goes on for to long my mind drifts

or its the oposite and its way to quick and i get mad automaticly i cant controll it and this had been a huge problem for me for about 6 years now

its sothing i want to experience so bad i dont know how to clear my head and stop wanting so much and just let it happen

and i dont get what would he or i be able to do to give me suck plesure even if i had a clear mind

as u can tell i think about this often yet have never told anyone its a problem with has resulted in a huge build up.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks denny and no it wasnt corny at all i realy like it.

and u r right i do think about it way to much enstead of enjoying it and i havent exactly told him ive never had an orgasm

i fake them quiet well its not that im uncomfterble with him its just something i dont think he should concern himself with because hes not the problem and i kno that and if i told him he would assume he was. no matter whhat i said

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009):

well hun, it sounds like you are at the part of having an orgasm physically, but somthing is mentally blocking.. thats what i heard on oprah-- it sounds like what you may have... maybe talk to your partner, tell him what you want... your fantasys things like that, and just try when you have sex to close your eyes and just go based off of feelings dont look around or anything, just close your eyes, and really get into it...

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