A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We have been generally happy together and suit each other well (are told so by everyone around us). Even though I was the one to make all the first moves and then later asked him to move in with me, I go though periods where I feel that something is missing. I have cheated on him numerous times, some of which he knows about. I don't know if I do these things out of insecurity or selfishness, or if we're just not right for each other. I can't think of what is wrong with our relationship, which makes me think that it is just me and that I need to clean up my act. I don't always feel empty and trapped, but when I do it is quite intense and I feel a need to act on it (be with someone else or ask for an open relationship). I haven't been single for 5 years, (have been in other relationship) and don't know what it's like to be alone.. I feel so confused and unable to judge the situation. I long for the freedom of being single but am scared as well, and don't want to ruin what could be a great relationship. So basically, is the problem with Me or Him???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): You need to break up with this guy. If you had to make all the moves, he's not that into you, plus you've cheated on him! I'm surprised he hasn't broken up with you yet! This is not a healthy relationship, and it's too late for it to be one. Not having a boyfriend is not the end of the world.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 May 2011):
 The problem is obvious: it's the wrong relationship. You don't want to ruin what could be a great relationship? Lets take a look then shall we: you cheat on him, and you long to be free, you feel something is missing, and you are unsure about your feelings for this guy. Sure, you might say you love him, but that isn't enough. When you're with the right guy you wont feel a need for anything else.
You feel a need for something else, and the times you went out and was with someone else, what went wrong was you going back to the relationship. Instead of cheating, if a person feels this need, they BREAK IT OFF with their partner. That's what you should have done. Instead, you cheated.
This relationship isn't a good one, and it wont be a good one either, so relax, you don't run any risk of ruining something potentially good by staying. You are however ruining his confidence and ruining every chance you have of meeting the right man for you.
You want something else. There doesn't need to be something wrong with you, him, or the relationship for that matter, for you to leave. All you need in order to leave, is to want to leave. He's not your guy, doesn't mean anything is wrong with him. Just means he's not for you. Let some other woman find happiness with him, and let yourself free to explore life on your own, and find a man you wont ever feel a need to cheat on.
So remember, if you ever want to cheat again, end the relationship first. It's selfish to do otherwise. It hurts people, and it isn't worth it.
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