A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem, it happened about a month ago when my husband and I went over to his friends house for the weekend to drink. My husband had a rough night and too much to drink so he passed out. His friend started telling me how much he likes me, how he always has, how he started to become friends with my husband so he can see me more often. I found it weird because he was always so mean to me but that night he said the most romantic things to me and I felt something that I never felt before with anyone that night as he held my hand and face and kissed me. Well since then I haven't been able to get him out of my mind. He assured me that he knows my husband well enough now that no matter what he will always be down for him. The worst thing about it is he's also the man that married us almost 10 years ago. Any advice on how I can stop dreaming about this man? I still see him so often as he is such a huge roll in my life. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): I feel your pain. I have been in a similar situation. Remember that attraction to a member of the clergy is very common. This happens because of their very role of ministering to their parishioners. As lay people we feel "safe" to be open around them. This can open us up for risk. The clergy person is trained to deal with this and has the responsiblity to draw the line not to be the one to pursue this attraction. Clergy are at risk of becoming attracted to members of their church because they do enter into an "intimate" relationship with them. But they are trained to deal with this. It sounds like your clergyman needs to re-evaluate his commitment to his faith and decide if he is truly in the right profession. If you decide that you really are in love with him first talk to a couselor to be sure of your feelings before risking your marriage and reputation for someone who might be emotionally lost or confused.
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