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Am I in love or just loving?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 February 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 23 February 2011)
A male United States age 36-40, *lumneyeblues writes:

I've been dating a girl for a little over three months now. We get along incredibly. We have similar senses of humor, family background, philosophical connections, appreciation of art and music, and are physically a good fit. When I first met her, I didn't see her as a girl that I'd really fall for, but I had so much fun with her I kept an open mind about dating her. Each time the relationship hit certain milestones ("exclusivity, girlfriend/boyfriend "status", etc) I went along with it.

She just finished college and lives at home now, so since I drive her home from time to time, I met her parents relatively early in the relationship. I get along very well with her parents, especially her dad. In any case, after about 1.5 months, I looked at her and got a panic attack, because I felt like while I love being with her, I wasn't sure if I actually saw her as my girlfriend. I convinced myself I needed to break-up with her, but then after speaking with friends, decided it was a rash decision.

Since then, being with her has been tough for me. Sometimes I love hanging out with her, other times I see her and panic and feel emotionally pressured and trapped. She loves me and told me she loves me several times. She is totally infatuated with me. I love her, but am not sure if I am in love with her. The thought of breaking-up with her comes to my mind often, but it always brings me to tears, because I adore her so much. I have been feeling a weight on me, because I know how much she likes me. I'm her first boyfriend and her first love.

She really has all the qualities I could ever ask for in a girl and I want desperately to be in love with her. She is a fantastic person and we do have a great sex life. Is there any way for me to begin to feel the "buzz" of love with her and relieve these heavy feelings I have?

View related questions: lives at home, sex life, trapped

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A female reader, blackbird332 United States +, writes (23 February 2011):

wow, sounds to me like you need some space. shes suffocating you, and maybe your just not used to taking on so much affection at once. you should spend less time talking to her and seeing her and take some time to soul search. see what it feels like when shes not smothering you with lovey dovey things. i experienced this with my ex bf.

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