A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:[Mod Note: Question edited as original post was far too long]Dear cupid, I don't really know if what I am feeling is infatuation or true love. I met this guy at school, at first, I was mainly attracted to him because of his looks. I didn't know him very well at the time so that's all my heart could feed off of, but when I got to know him more things flipped. Now I am smitten with his personality, I feel as though if he was not the person that he was that I would not be as into him as I am now, he would just be another pretty face(I tend to get over those quickly).So, I've speculated that I may very well be in love with him, but then I think to myself.... is this out of pure admiration for him? You see after really looking into myself(because I like to think about why I like someone.) I realized that I feel this way because I crave his intelligence and his artistry.But moving on, yes, the boy who I am interested in is sadly almost everything that I wish to be. He is no God, far from perfect, even farther than ideal, but he's done what I've wanted to do. He's been all around the world and stuff that I do not wish to waste time listing. But you understand, yes? He's the embodiment of my own dreams, I swear, every time I'm around him I feel like little girl. There are times when he makes me upset, but I can't stay mad at him...I always focus on the good things about him. He doesn't hurt me or whatever. It's just one of the other things that he does that make me feel like a little girl. He's very blunt and Blunt + Intelligence +Perception = Occasional know-it-all momentsWhich sometimes make me wanna go " -___- *****...............shut up.....," but even then its one of the things about him that I truly adoreand like a little girl(excuse my repetition) I feel the impulse sometimes to cling to him as if he were my big brother or something.I'm sorry, do I sound obsessed now?I don't believe I've ever felt so strongly about anyone before, and I don't deal very well with it because he's going out with someone else right? So I've gotta be cool you know? Gotta be a good friend, and keep my ground but its difficult(Not to control myself, but internally) sometimes because we hang in the same clique, I usually try to just spend some time on my own, fill up my plate with work I have to do, talk to other friends, find someone else to be interested in.But when I see him, I feel small again...and I want him to come over and talk to me a little. Not to flirt or anything lustful,most certainly not to take him away from the person he's going out with, I just want to be near him even if it is only for a little while, and he does, and that makes me happy but awkward too because he does things that I don't expect sometimes. I admit I enjoy these little moments, but he's going out with someone else. That's painful in a way you know? i know I should probably distance myself even farther....but I don't wish to lose him as a friend. I don't know if this is 'love' or 'infatuation' that I'm dealing with nor do I know what to do...it's like my mind is willing but my heart is weak and getting weaker.Any insight would be helpful -reality checks are welcome with an open mind-
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): It really does sound like something that will pass.
so what if he has travelled far and wide? That shouldnt make you worship him.
ive known a pretty boy who was new at work, made himself look like a mr know it all,was so confident and full of charisma. Made some hurtful jokes sometimes though. I really wanted to be close to him.and well yeah,now i am but hes just a friend now the crush is totally gone.
it will be the same with you:you will remain but trust me you will get over him without even making an effort.
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