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Am I his foreplay - a warm up before getting a real girlfriend???

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 March 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 8 March 2010)
A female age 26-29, anonymous writes:

The biggest flirt I have ever met, or does he generally has a 'thing' for me?

There is this guy in my school, lets call him B. He is 2 years older than me-I'm 14 and he's 16.

I made friends with him when I was around 13-I'm friends with someone he's friends with, so he came up to me and my other friend (not the one that he knows) and started talking with me and my friend... After that we would sometimes chat.

Before the end of that school year (when I was still around 13), he came up to me and asked me to sign his yearbook, so I did... I thought that was quite strange because I barely knew him.

Then, after a summer holiday (which was few days after I signed his yearbook), I remember walking in school at the first day of school (I was 14 then) and finding him looking at me... I didn't think much of it so I walked off to find my other friends, but that 'moment' stuck in my mind...

I became best friends with my friend that B knows (who is male), so us three always hang out a lot in school (me, my bestie and B).

I also become rather good friends with B himself, and I have reasons to think that he might like me...

Basically, even though I and my other friends hug (both male and female), I find B's hugs more personal if ya get what I mean-they are not some quick short hugs... Also, me and him sort off flirt over e-mails and generally flirt a bit whenever we see eachother-I don't really think much of the flirts, as I am rather dirty minded so I like to talk 'dirty', but my friends know that it's a joke, and I truly hope that B does, too although, most of the flirting towards him I do mean because I have a crush on him, if you haven't noticed... Also, he jokingly asked me if I want to marry him, and I said yes. Soon he told me that he asked three or four other people to marry him (obviously jokingly), but for my happiness he will only settled to marry one other girl (bloody polygamist XD). So now we jokingly call each other husband and wife...

Also, recently, he started kissing me on forehead, head and shoulder after hugging me (which I obviously like)-today after I complained (whilst hugging him) that I can't reach him well (he's slightly taller then me-only a bit) he picked me up and spun me, then let go of me and bruised my shoulder a little bit. So once again, I complained, and he 'kissed it better'-my shoulder. Also, he likes to poke me... And to put his arm around my waist when we walk side by side.... I find all of that absolutely adorabe and of course I like what he does... But...Does he like me? Recently my best friend (the one that B is friends with) told me that B told him that he doesn't really want to marry me, only to f*ck me, which made me sad BIG TIME. B most likely said that as a joke, or whatever, but what my bestie said made me feel like a loser for ever thinking that he does like me... Actualy, when my bestie told that I lost the want to look B in the eye at all... :( What do you think? I haven't got a clue, obviously!.. The fact that he asked some other girl to 'marry' him and what my bestie said made me draw to a conclusion that he is like that towards his other female friends,and most likely sees me as a joke-a toy to play around, but I don't know what to think - I am soo confused. I obviously have a crush on him... You people are my only help, since most of my friends are male I don't have anyone to talk about this... Thank You soooo much!

P.S He told me recently that he'll be leaving this school in a month time. I'm not sure if he's moving houses or something but this made me upset a lot. I would like to get to know him as a friend, too, so we could hang out after school after he's gone, but how?

View related questions: best friend, crush, flirt, foreplay, kissing

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010):

I think that you should "hear" what your friend is saying that B wants to F*ck you. Your adorable trait of being "dirty minded" and talking that way in texts and emails is the habit of a girl who wants to be sexually loose, and use her female sexuality to control boys. He is getting he idea that you are promiscuous or would be willing to be with him.

All his touching and kissing is leading up to that event that he hopes will happen at some point with you.

I think you stand to be made a fool of here. I don't think it is too late to turn this around. First by apologizing to B for being so dirty mouthed that you meant it as a joke, it was a poor one and you are not that kind of girl and do not want to give him the wrong idea. That you value your friendship and want him to respect you.

Because I can tell you this. If you do go down that path of being a sexually promiscous girl, that includes any sexually forward act, you stand to lose he respect of B as well as his attention and friendship. He showed utter disrespect for you by his Comment to your other friend.

Nip it in the bud right now. Call him out on it and set him straight, but own your part in leading him on with your potty mouth.

I know a lot of kids in your age group do this sort of thing, but it is extremely unattractive behavior especially for a young lady who values herself, has high self esteem and is interested in something other than just boys. Be different, be ahead of the pack and behave like you were raised, it is not cool to be a stupid girl.

You are smarter than that.

As to how he really feels about you? I think your instincts that he is using you as a joke-toy are valid. But you can change that by changing your behavior and holding yourself to higher standards.

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