A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Am i her rebound or am i just paranoid? She was with her ex for 4 years, (not live in relationship) more long distance/close proximity, but the catch is they were not very close , from what iv been told by her mates. She told me that it was relationship basede on no trust lies and promises never fuffilled. So that rang warning bells in my ear. Anyway they broke up about 1 year 4 months ago, we began talking around that time, we began our relationship 8 months ago, she has told me that her and her ex were not ment for eachother bla bla same old story, but she tells me constantly i am her soulmate and she left him for me (becuase we used to be highschool buddys), we only just re connected when she broke up wit her ex. She tells me 'i have the key to her heart' , now ur probably wondering, why am i stressing and asking a silly question? on facebook, (yes i know facebook) she constantly posts those emotional photos of 'forgetting about pasts,' and 'moving on' emo pics, that most girls post, but she does it quite reguluararly, and dwells on the past, yet when i ask her she says she is over the past etc, i know im playing with fire here because one part says believe her other part says from experience i could be rebound, iv been with multiple women in past in same situation who have said the same things ' i love u', but years later i find out they are stil in love with ex, and one happened to go back to him LOL. So what do i do? im in abit of a predicament, are there signs to look out for? and things i should do or ask her to prove she is over past? or am i just paranoid? this stresses me out as i really dont want to get hurt, few things; she updates me where she is, who she with, always replys to txt etc, we have a stable relationship apart from few ups and downs but thats normal, but in past few weeks her ex keeps calling, saying ' i love u and miss u so much', wierd thing is she calls me straight after speaking to him saying not to worry she doesnt love him, he rings her house wanting to speak to her, but is going overseas for good in a few weeks, do u think he is just seeking closure ? am i thinking way to much here? stressfull just stressful thinking about, any help is welcomed, thanks in advanced
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broke up, facebook, her ex, long distance, soulmate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 Hi,
Personally I have a real problem when past exex pop up with "I love yous and I miss yous". Especially when your girlfriend is not over him as yet. Anyone who constantly updates anything with sayings of forgetting the pasts etc....isn't over the past. And his popping up isn't helping.
My advice to you, sit her down seriously, ask her what her feelings are if any for him. Share your feelings with her that him calling etc makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure and you would like it to stop. For her to stop taking his calls and not encourage text messages from him.
If the relationship means anything to her and she loves you...she'll cut that out. All of us have some sort of control over our environment. If the phone is ringing and I see from the caller ID it's not someone I want to talk to....I don't answer it. If the Avon Sales Lady passes by and rings my doorbell and I don't want to be sold anything....I don't acknowledge she's there and I don't open the door....do you see where I am going with this.
If you really want to avoid something and if you really are done with something....whenever it pops up...you ignore it, put it in its place and make sure it gets the message do not bother me again.
Hope it works out.
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