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male
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*uscles
writes: I am having a very confusing time of late. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and up until about 4 and a half months, and had been really happy. I still am, but it doesn't feel as much which I'm confused about. In late March, I was feeling pretty run down and low for a week or so and didn't wanna be around anyone. My girlfriend made it worse by asking me if I was going off her and making me sign bits of paper, by making me feel guilty allthough it was not intentional. But I convinced myself I was going off her. However I felt I didn't want to. It comes and goes and whenever I'm not with her. It reminds me of that time I spent away from her, feeling guilty. And whenever I maybe forget somthing that is to do with her, I think 'I'm going off her...' or on a day when I want time to myself I feel guilty, as if I am slowly going off her and I blame myself for things and really think I am.My girlfriend and I are quite similar but also very different. She likes a lot of touch and feel and whenever I don't show her much affection I feel guilty and she becomes paranoid. I am stuck in an anxiety I think and I really hate it and wish it would go once and for all. I think it's gunna last forever.Does anyone know what it could be and how it can be eliminated...??please reply... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Muscles +, writes (9 June 2006):
Muscles is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah we spent a lot of time together we saw each other 4-5 times per week for about 11 houyrs some days and about 6 on others....And just as i've read your answer I certainly think its because we saw each other too much...The problem is my girlfreind wud get paranoid if i said i wanted to spend time alone etc because she wud think that I was going off her somehow...etc etc she has already admitted to being paranoid...and it really pushes me away...
A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (8 June 2006):
 Hey Muscles...
I'm very sorry you're feeling like this, because I can tell that you really want these feelings to go away so you can just be happy with your GF.
I think the first thing you have to do is identify when you start to feel guilty. You say that you feel guilty when you forget something to do with her or when you want to spend time alone? The next time you want some 'space' and 'me time', stop yourself dead in your tracks when you start to feel the guilt come on and try and work out WHY you feel guilty. Is it because you think you are abandoning her? Or because you think you SHOULD be spending all your time with her?
In my opinion, for your life to be the best it can be, you need to have balance in the 'three circles'. Friendship, work and your relationship. If one or two are taking most of your time, then of course the third will suffer. In the past 6 months you have been with your GF, did you spend A LOT of time together? And before you met her were you a very independent person? If you answer yes to these two questions, then maybe your 'relationship circle' has become your main priority and has put you out of balance with the rest of your life - which would explain why you feel guilty when you want time away from her?
Just a thought!
xxx
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A
male
reader, Muscles +, writes (8 June 2006):
Muscles is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI haven't seen her for almost 4 days the most in months....I don't know i just feel guitly that i like time to myself i am just that type of persona dn like my own space from time to time...allthough i do now i could see her everyday etc...but some days i don't want too....
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A
female
reader, sibaan +, writes (8 June 2006):
 maybe you need time apart so you can decide whats up and exacty what you want. maybe the problem is that you are not allowing yourself any alone time and there fore you are rejecting yourself but taking it out in your feelings towards her?
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