A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have a boyfriend who i have been with for two years. when we first became involved, i was in a relationship of three years. i told him i broke up with him but continued that relationship for the first year of my relationship the new guy. And i cheated a few more times. now, i am so insecure about him cheating on me that i do not know what to do. I accuse him constantly. is this natural. is this guilt, what should i do
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male
reader, able +, writes (25 June 2008):
tell him you cheated and dont force him leave by dening it tell him how you feel and give him the oppurtunity to let him decide and you step back if feels the love is strong enough then he will proly forgive you but dont push or pull it will only do more harm
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Wow you sound EXACTLY like someone I know. You're obviously very insecure. It's very difficult to deal with. I am certain that you'd rather break up with him that come clean. The only way is for you to learn to control your feelings of insecurity. And for that you likely need therapy & lots of it. And yes you are feeling guilty, but that feeling is likely driving you to catch him cheating. You assume your partner is cheating, cheat & then feel guilty when you can't find evidence of THEM cheating.
Also are you sure that he had no idea that you were cheating? I'm sure he has a pretty good idea that you've been up to something. My guess is that raising the issue gets you defensive & angry.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): I think that because you cheated on both men for so long and you managed to hide it for at least a year, you probably think that he could do the same thing very easily.
Did you ever confess to what you had done?
The honest answer is that yes... he could. But you need to trust that he would never do that to you.
Try and relax.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): You should have more faith with him.
You are probs feeling un-nerved because you've seen how it feels for someone to be cheated on, why don't you just trust him? If you treat him with the right respect he will be faithful to you. I think it's natural to have some worriedness in a relationship, because there's always a chance, but i think if he has been straight with you for two years that he will contine to stay straight.
Don't worry so much... :D
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