A
female
age
30-35,
*hats_not_my_name
writes:hey i'm sorry as this is my second question this month but i would really appreciate some advice. it's another long question (or equation lol spirit_of_iona!) but here goes.i have this guy friend who i've known for all my life as our fathers' our best friends. basically we grew up together. i don't see him very often as he lives about a 2 and a half hour drive away from me, but my family go and stay with his family at least once a year and we talk online. anyway a few months ago he told me he'd split up with his gf...and i was shocked to find that i felt something like relief at this. i just shook it off though and comforted him as he was pretty down about it, especially as some rumours were being spread about him too. he said some things like 'i can;t wait to see you' and i was like yeah same. but afterwards it made me question...does he like me? however i didn't speak to him for a while and i put this to the back of my mind. but a couple of dyas ago i was talking to his sister (who i'm also good friends with) and we were talking about how i'm going up to stay with them in a few weeks. she then said A (her brother) has been learning pump it up and he really wants to play it with you (we both play bass). this made my heart leap and i was again shocked at the reaction this simple statement had on me. i know that A probably didn't mean anything by this but it got me wondering if he could possibly like me and whether i should say something to him when i go and stay with them. but so many things are stopping me;1) he may nt like me at all2) at our age could a long distance realtionship really work? 3) i've had a couple of 'infatuations' over the past year; one with one of my teachers and one with a colleague at my work experience. and when i think about them, the feelings are much more passionate than those that i have felt about A. is this just because they were both 'forbidden' and therefore more exciting? why do i liek them more, when i lcearly have no future with either of them (especially my teacher!) am i indeed just desperate to find someone my own age to like and therefore i turned to A? i'm so confused (and you probably are too!) but if anyone could shed some light on this weird subject i would REALLY appreciate it! xxxxxx
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best friend, long distance, my teacher, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (12 August 2008):
 just relax be yourself and enjoy his company dont rush things let it unfold and then if things dont happen as you say drop a friendly email :) good luck keep us updated aphex hug xx
A
female
reader, thats_not_my_name +, writes (12 August 2008):
thats_not_my_name is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey everyone ty sooo much for the advice! i've been going over this in my mind for a couple of days and i think i'm going to see how things go when i go to see him (that way i get a chance to check i really do like him!) if the right opportunity presents itself, i may say something, however i'm a bit concerned about entering a relationship as you're right long distance is hard! if i don't find the opportunity when we're away, i may drop him an email.....i'm still a bit confused..i'm just hoping that my feelings will become clear when i see him! :) ty again for the adivce and i wud greatly appreciate anymore lol! xxxxx
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (11 August 2008):
ok yeah its not that their forbidden just a crush that would never amount to anything we all have them thinking oh yeah hes nice but hes like 30 and im 13 hrm. i dunno maybe your just seeking a relationship and you and A are best friends maybe your taking things out of context maybe he wants to do something special for you considering you where their for him when he was down and this is a reward. on the other hand he may very well like you. its hard to judge you would have to wait and see how he reacts when your with him. although a long distance relationship is very hard im in one at the moment and its very draining. in my case i come home from a long days work and all i want to do is hug my partner but doh hes at the oposite end from me in the uk lol.. so you would have to be careful about entering a long distance R. it may seem a great idea but its a hard emotional roller coaster. your still young so give it some time see how you feel about him and see if he reacts to you but be careful he may not want anything and find it hard speaking to you if its not the way you want it to go. good luck hun xx aphex xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): Hard questions to answer; I don't know if I really can, but I'll try!1) He might not. If you like him, go for it. Spend some time together, get to know each other as friends first. The risk, if he doesn't like you, is that things could become awkward and you might lose a family friend.2) Long distance relationships are hard. The only way to make them work is if you really care about the person. Be aware that it's a lot of time and energy to invest, and not always very emotionally satisfying. This might be too much, especially if your entire relationship is long-distance.3) I wouldn't say you're desperate. Hormones make a person want to be with someone else. Maybe you are looking for companionship and this door sort of opened up. I would recommend being friends and seeing where this goes. It's possible the whole thing wears off in a bit anyways...Do what your heart tells you!
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