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Am I crazy to want sex with my ex- lover?

Tagged as: Sex, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 February 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2016)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Sex with ex- what is wrong with me! We both know this 'relationship' will not progress beyond sexual stuff. So why do I crave sex with him? Will it fizzle out on its own? Will it hinder my meeting someone new that I can build a future with? Saw him for the first time since break up in early January- shed a few tears, said our 'sorrys' and ended up in bed. He is comfortable and familiar, is it so wrong to have sex with him till I meet someone I really like?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2016):

Sex is often used as bait, or a tool of manipulation. In this case, it's a tool of manipulation. You never got over him. If If there is no other means to keep him interested; then you use sex. Pity is an emotion, but it is one that doesn't necessarily mean you care. So sympathy-sex is is just a quick-fix, and really has no real value.

It's only going to hurt you in the long-run. Men can often have sex and remain quite emotionally detached. You shed a few tears. This is evidence that some amount of attachment and emotion is still there; and if you don't get what you want, you'll go through grief again. Just like you did when you broke-up. I'm not giving this post as much time and attention as I give many. It's common-sense and you know better.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (16 February 2016):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThink of it this way: You LOVE chocolate cake.... and you LOVE caramel chews. YOU CAN'T EAT BOTH AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!

Good luck....

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (16 February 2016):

janniepeg agony auntYou are not crazy, just finding it hard to let go of him forever because it's hard to start anew with nothing. It's not technically wrong to have sex until you find someone you like. Your ex might fake wanting a relationship just so that any new chances for you would be impossible. Some guys can be selfish like that. They think nothing of your happiness, but only themselves and having a regular supply of sex. Exes don't want a relationship but at the same time don't want anyone else to have you either. You would then be confused and wonder if you should take your ex back. The new guy will also mind it because it clearly shows that you are not over your ex. It won't develop well because he will feel like a part of you is already occupied, with unfinished business.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (16 February 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntIt is natural to want to have sex with him because you where both intimate and passionate in the past therefore it is easy to follow in to that routine again. Is it okay to have sex with him until you find someone else? Well yes if you both know where you stand. But my honest advice would say this is a bad idea. When you saw him in January you shed a few tears, showing you are not completely over him. You might know deep down that there is no future between you both, but from what I have learnt sleeping with an ex brings up old emotions and feelings and it might make you go backwards instead of forwards in getting over him. You may begin to get deeper feelings for him all over again and end up badly hurt. My advice would be to walk away now before it ends badly.

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