A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This may be long and i truly apologize for it. Ive posted question about this guy before...we had worked together and i flirted with him but didnt know if i should make a move or not then it just kinda grew and we were very close..then my bestfriend got upset...she didnt like us together but shes just toughed it out and dealt with it. Now this guy and i fell in love, were in that phase where were ingaged to be ingaged weve looked at rings hes planning on asking my dad its pretty much set. Heres the problem though...im 18 almost 19 and hes 25, divorced, with two little girls. I dont see it as a problem, i love his girls his ex is pretty much out of the picture shes a drug addict and isnt ever able to take the girls and if she does she has to bring them back within hours of picking them up. I also live about an hour away because i moved when we first started dating because i was going to go to college.Well theres a bit more about him and his past with his ex wife. They use to fight- A LOT. To the point where he would break things and got domestic violence, lost his house, his job, and his girls. His girls were sent to live with his mom and dad. His ex wife was always cheating on him and doing drugs- even when she was pregnant. So now he and her arent together but he lost everything, hes now living at his parents house. He got a job at a fast food place where i worked and thats how we met. Life was getting better he finished some school and was about to get a nice job and everything fell through...none of it his fault but its a whole other long story. Anywho then he had another food type job then got into a car accident....this is where my questions all come in. Now hes hurt but hes getting a law suit and checks from not working and as soon as the doctor says its ok hes moving up by me and getting a nice job up here. My problem is i dont know what to do when it comes to his girls. Im almost 19, he keeps asking if this is something i want, i didnt ask for it but i love him and his girls so im willing to become a mother and take care of them. But he and i are getting married with almost no money, which i know most people do, but he has two little girls, and im a college student working full time and hell be working full time and well be moved away from any family to help. What do i do?...he wants me to go to school and work and stuff but how in the world will i be able to do all that AND help raise two little kids. Has anyone done this before? I dont know how to juggle, im a selfish teenager who spends my money on eating out or clothes. Am i crazy for being ok with all of this? For taking on all his problems and mine and raising two little girls? Im willing to quit my job and even school if i have to but am i crazy?I know this is a long open ended question but i want some outside opinion on it, from people who just know the facts not the people. Im not going to say i can be a mother, but i know i can take care of those girls but am i insane? I never had a problem or even thought about it much until a few days ago when he kept asking me if i was sure this is what i wanted. I mean of course i would love to be out partying and dating tons of guys, but i didnt plan on meeting him, i didnt plan on falling in love, and i didnt plan on the fact that in less than a year i could be a mother of two little girls instead of partying it up at college. Do i sound naive? Insane? Stupid? Or even all of the above? I just want an honest opinion- anything will help.
View related questions:
divorce, drugs, ex-wife, fell in love, flirt, his ex, money, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (16 June 2010):
 What's the rush, your only 18.. why in such a hurry to get engaged and married... I think you should slow things down and see how things go before you make any firm commitments like "untill death do us part"..
You are very young, you are still growing, his life will bring you many pressures that might split you two apart. Take things slowly and move into the relationship of mother and wife one day at a time..
|
