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Am I bench warmer or is this dude just too shy to make a move?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 August 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2009)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

This guy comes over my house pretty much every nite. We have dinner together, watch movies, have a few wines and we talk about everything. I really really dig him but I am NOT a first mover!! Lately he has been sleeping in my bed with me and we cuddle all nite yet he never makes a move??? I dont get it?? He was recently made redundant and doesnt have a job, so when he goes home he gets on the emails and emails me at work all day! Then the cycle continues the next day. This has been going on for about 3 months now. He broke up with his GF about 2 weeks before we started hanging out all the time and I cant help but think I might just a bench warmer or he is just lonely and misses female companionship. About two weeks ago.. We got drunk and we ended up making out (I dont know if I made the move or him) and then I proceeded to give him head, but I was too drunk and proceeded to suck at sucking.. I just wanted to pass out on it... haha... Plus it wasnt the right time of the month so we couldnt go all the way. The next nite, he comes over... nothing happens... and nothing has happend since and he has stayed over every nite since!! Damn it!! I hope it wasnt because of the drunken bad head job I gave him a couple of weeks ago... cuz I can totally do better than that... just let me at it damn it!!

View related questions: at work, broke up, drunk, shy

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009):

is it possible that hes a homosexual?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

i dissagree with the last answer. dont play games with the guy. baby duck is right... you have to talk. ask him what he wants. a friend or something more. and if you cant give him what he wants tell him. being strait forward is always the best course of action...oh and the bj is irrelevient dnt worry

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

Jump his bones. If he had an erection then he is at least up for it.

By some food, go at it like rabbits and see where ye go from there. Loads of fun,

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (25 August 2009):

Danielepew agony auntI agree with Baby Duck. Ask the questions!

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A male reader, axio Pakistan +, writes (25 August 2009):

I must say you got a weird problem. Did you try talking to the guy? It sounds like a comedy movie. On the whole, I would say he may be your sincere friend if he doesnt want sex with you and still hangs out with you. On the other hand, its you who is looking for some hardcore action, which is ok. So talk to him, am sure he wont disappoint you:)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

Wow, you must be tired, cuddling this guy every night. It does sound like he's in a bit of a situation, losing his job recently, and his girlfriend just before you started hanging out. So maybe a little bit of bench warming going on. Don't worry, your BJ definitely has nothing to do with any of this - he is darn lucky he even got that kind of treatment. I think you need to pull back a little bit, when he comes over tomorrow night don't be home. Be anywhere - at the gym, at someone else's house...let him wonder. You have a life other than him, and he needs to work a bit harder if he wants something real with you. OR...another tact..make a move and see what happens. If he rejects you - then that's that! But if he goes with it, then great. At the moment he's getting everything he wants out of this friendship and you're getting a sore wing from him snuggling under it like a baby chick (forgive the analogy...). Take care :) and don't worry about the BJ!!

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