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anonymous
writes: I was in the pub on Friday evening, the guy next to me was my hubby's mate and he had his puppy with him. Every so often I had been leaning over to give the pup some bits of food and to stroke him. (Unfortunately it was a case of leaning in front of/resting on the guy's leg to touch the dog). Anyway the one time when I did it when my hubby had gone to the bar, I leant over again and fed the puppy, I vaguely remembered at the time because I was pretty drunk, him putting his arm around my waist and then as I went to sit up another mate came over and joined us and his arm was still around my waist and then promptly withdrawn (didn't happen after that). Is this alright and being friendly? Don't want to get the wrong idea.I am sensing that he is just a guy that is touchy anyway (as he has got to know me he is starting to be more touchy feely by putting his arm around my shoulder in a jovial way when my hubby is around - but only when he has told me something to 'wind me up'). Whilst we were drunk that evening he talked about a personal secret to do with his sex life when he was younger and also that he likes contortionists (a sexual thing apparently and we were talking about the circus). He's also told me that he loves winding me up (unfortunately its easy to do that and he's already had a warning shot over that!). Again when a bloke tells you that its easy to wind you up and you tell him to stop and then a week later when he sees you he says I like winding you up - is this flirting or just being annoying.I don't mind blokes being 'cuddly' but I wasn't sure if the arm around the waist was rather strange and also the 'winding up' - correct me if I am wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2005): Well, you've definitely gone through a lot of effort wrting this letter just to be certain of whether this guy was winding you up or not? My question is, why even bother asking? Does it or will it make a difference if you knew the answer? But really, the million dollar question is, are you actually attracted to this guy and wished to know whether your feelings were being reciprocated? You said you didnt want to get the wrong idea. But if your intentions were pure, you wouldnt!! Have you actually consulted your husband about this? You havent mentioned anything about how your husband feels about this so Im presumming you havent told him yet, which you should. He should be the first person youre consulting this with. Just try turning the tables around, and see how youd feel if he hadnt consult you about sumthing like this. But anyway, thats just my guess. I cant stress this enough. It always seem that the grass might be greener on the other side, but trust me, in actual fact, its often NOT! I dont think I'm jumping the gun in saying that you might be intersted in this new guy, judging from the way you question things, the way you talk about this guy..and his dog, the way you made it an issue and that it bothers you whether or not he was winding you up. If you didnt like him in that way, you wouldnt even be bothered if he was trying to. Its cool that you realise this now before you do anything stupid (except for the fact that you already let him feel like hes got you where he wants you to be by allowing him to put his hands around your waist, being extremely friendly with him and his dog, and the list goes on), but then you said you were quite drunk yourself, so Ill give you the benefit of the doubt that you were sincerely 'oblivious' to all that was happening!! But then again, could someone be that oblivious to something like that? Or better yet, would you forgive your husband if he was 'oblivious' to what was happening in that similar manner? Well, if you would, then sorry for wasting your time here so far!! But honestly, wouldnt you even have a smidgen of consideration for jealousy? My advice to you is, forget it and dont make it an issue. Your husband should be what matters, not some random guy in a pub with a dog!! Good luck on this.
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