A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Have been on line dating for few months, not much success really because some of the guys are damn rude if you don't send a pic or give your email out immediately...been on a few dates, very boring no chemistry at all. I think I'm being really choosy. Anyway mailed this guy and we were chatting for about 2 1/2 weeks..he swept me off my feet so to speak, mentioned holidays together..we talked a lot on webcam too and seemed as though we clicked. We had tentatively arranged a meeting for the following Saturday and then he backed out because he had arranged to go out with his friend.By this time I was feeling really confused...one minute he was into me big time and then he cooled right off. Anyway a friend of mine who's also on the site mailed him a few days later suggesting they chat etc. And he replied that he was seeing someone. So within a space of two days he'd met someone else..totally gutted..I was well and truly played but I feel like this because a. I liked him big time b. he was really into me too. My friend suggested that the other girl was a dead cert for putting it out and that's why I was dropped so suddenly.. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): If some guy sweeps you off your feet within 2.5 weeks, then rudely drops you and is dating someone else within 2 days, then it's pretty plain to see, he's had a number of ladies 'on standby'. I am sorry..this hurts. But, this is very, very common on dating sites for many people. They have this 'buffet of potential dating partners' and they enjoy the bounty to the max. I have to be honest about online dating and just dating in general. Dating does not demand an 'exclusive' relationship especially after a few weeks. It's a huge selection process into finding the one that you are most compatible with. It is about going out with a lot of different people until you find one with whom you want to spend a happy future with.. You have not invested much into this except some 'heartfelt' feelings/expectations which was your doing and you shouldn't have done this in just a few dates with this online guy...messaging, a bit of web camming, some texts, and a few phone calls. So...you need to stop doing something here. Stop internalizing the rejection here. It's not about you, you are not inadequate. Do not allow this guy to tear down your self-esteem and worthiness. You do not need 'his' validation because you are awesome and you will survive this. Just get those 'teeny lttle feelings of co-dependancy' out of you, once and for all. It's his loss...and next time don't hand over your 'heart' so readily to some guy, online. And remember too, sometimes a rejection can be the best thing for us...it means avoiding a bad relationship – especially if it's an online guy, 'playing' women like crazy. It just means he could be incapable of establishing a loving, healthy long-term relationship. Who knows? And ...we really don't know if this other female 'put out' for him or not. But if she did do that, then that tells you 'what he really was looking for, doesn't it.' You know, rejection hurts like hell and we all have been there. Just call it a day and learn from this. You know full well, you deserve to have an awesome relationship, so get out there and find it. I suggest you get off the dating sites, step away from that computer and get out there in the real world, and look around. Seeing a guy face to face, watching body language, facial expression is the most sensible way to learning and discerning who is he, is ultimately the best for you. Who knows, a few months down the road, you may be 'thankful' this online guy dropped you, especially when the most fantastic man walks into your life and treats you wonderfully. Stay positive, and hold out for the best.The world is full of men and many of them looking for someone like you. Be strong. Good luck, hun and take care .
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 I think the likelihood is he was already seeing someone at the time you were online dating... It may be he ran a mile when he realised he couldn't go through with it and stayed with his girlfriend/wife.
Don't worry about it. Move on and by the way there's nothing wrong with being "really choosy" as you put it :)
Good luck!
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