A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really need advice! I've been "talking" to this guy for a little over a month now. He's the biggest sweetheart and I really like him but I don't know how he feels. He always makes sure he's the last person I talk to at night by waking me up EVERY NIGHT...which I think is sweet. He always text me every morning and ask me how my day is going. He gets upset if I don't text him. He's spent the night at my apartment, but we didn't have sex! I'm a virgin and he says he wants to try...but only when I'm ready which won't be for a while. I just want to know an opinion on whether he likes me or not...or if you think he's trying to hit it and run...?
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (14 September 2010):
 What you described sounds very much like someone I once dated, especially the statement about him saying he puts himself out there and gets nothing back (which he said to me constantly, regardless of anything I did), though he didn't show that sort of behaviour until after we started dating. The fact that your guy is already showing this behaviour is a huge red flag. Take it from me, men who act like that are incredibly insecure and immature. He'll try to control you and try to keep tabs on you, while being secretive about his own life. I know nothing of this guy, but speaking from personal experience, this type will use guilt to talk you into giving him what he wants. You have something he wants, a.k.a your virginity, which you've already said yourself. I'd like to be optimistic, but you've listed warning signs that shouldn't be ignored. Don't get involved with him and save yourself the headache.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat I mean by him getting upset if I don't text/call him:
He will request that I text him when I wake up or when I'm on my way to class && if I don't I can tell he gets dissappointed...not angry. He just feels like he's putting himself out there && getting nothing back from me...he said so himself. He's know I wake up around 8:30am...&& I will go the entire day without texting him. He will chat with me on facebook && send me a sad face smiley because he hasn't heard from me all day.
&& for the girl who pretty much called me a booty call...of all the times that I've been on the phone with him late at night, he's never onced asked to come over and get some. && I don't remember putting how our conversations go at night in the question (oh yeah...I didn't)...they go nothing like how you put it.
Thanks SeeingStars, big ron, anonymous, and xanthic =)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): I think only time will tell. You have been talking to him for just over a month, so that is not really much time to be clear of someone's intentions and feelings. It takes more time for things to develop. He does sound interested in you, but like I said, it is still early days, things are still new, it is still developing.
If you do not want to have sex, keep standing your ground and saying "no". If he genuinely likes you, he will wait. And by wait, I mean he will NOT ask you everyday if you are now ready! If he keeps pressuring you, or asks you repeatedly even if you tell him you won't be ready for a while, that would indicate that he may be after just sex. It wouldn't be very considerate of him to do that. But if he respects what you have to say, and backs off from the subject of sex, then he is most likely genuine. So wait and see how things go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): If he is not pressuring you into having sex then he isn't just gonna "hit and run" as you eloquently put it. He may occasionally ask from time to time but that's just because he's a man for god's sake and men have urges (the jury is still out on whether or not women have these urges).
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (12 September 2010):
If he repeatedly pressures you to have sex, in spite of telling him you're not ready each time, he's only after one thing. Be careful. If something doesn't feel right, don't do it.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Talking to a guy shouldn't be "hey, you sleeping already? Can I come over later? That's not a talk. Tell him not to call you past bed time hours. Those are booty call hours. You don't know if he likes you or not and yet you let him intrude on your private life. He thinks his time is more important than yours. I would cut this off because as you spend more time with this guy the next thing he's going to say is you don't love me if you don't have sex with me. A guy who likes you would ask you out first, take you to dinner. He would do anything to make sure you know that he likes you.
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