A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll start off by saying that I am a sensitive guy. I get my feelings hurt fairly easy (though I rarely show it.) My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. We were friends throughout high school, and we each had a crush on one another off and on, though never at the same time. Finally in our senior year we decided to leave our respective girlfriend and boyfriend and date one another. We were the happiest couple. The kind that gets stopped by elderly couples and told that we were just like they used to be. We had fun no matter what, we could be ourselves with another, and, being friends for years, we knew each other before we were together. Things have changed. These past two or three months she has become distant. She has a job that takes up most of the time we could spend together. We each are sophomores in college and dedicated to furthering our education. Time constraints would account for some of the issues but... Numerous times we have had plans that she has skipped out on only to hang out with her other friends. She is a concert pianist and I attend every concert and event I can. She on the other never makes the time to come see me or spend time with me. I have cancelled appointments, missed work and family occasions, while she won't even reschedule a lunch date with a friend. She has several guy friends, this doesn't really bother me. Well.. It didn't use to. Some of the times she has skipped out on time with me only to spend time with them instead. It may sound cheesy but she and I had something special. We lit up when one another came into the room, we told everyone about each other, even new acquaintances. We had talked about marriage and agreed we would wait until post-college. We made plenty of plans during the first year-and-a-half. Housing ideas, baby names, pets, where we would live, and all the other normal plans. Since she has been acting funny all this has stopped. Now the only future plans are where she is going for her masters and career options. When I ask what I'll do or how my education or job will fit in she says, "We'll cross that bridge when we get there." I've told her I'm upset. I've described how she has been acting and she says I'm being silly that it is stress and our lack of time together due to work and school. She says she hasn't lost interest and loves me just as much as she used to. For some reason I don't think she's sincere. Am I being too sensitive? Has she lost interest in me? Has one of her guy friends become something more? Thank you for your time...
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell.. Thank you for the advice. After posting my question I started thinking and I called my girlfriend and told her everything I wrote here and how she was really hurting my feelings. I called her best friend beforehand to talk to her. Her friend said she is acting this way because everyone feels I've changed. It seems I've become clingy to the point that its no longer attractive nor cute. Yet, while being clingy I also don't flirt. A strange combination but after asking my girlfriend she said the same thing. So... I wasn't being too sensitive and something was wrong, but I was the original cause of the problem.
Also: There were no other guys. She was trying to make me jealous. Turns out her guy friends are openly gay. Something I should have asked before jumping to conclusions.
Thank you for your time and consideration. If you have any suggestions as to how I can be more flirty and fun please feel free to send them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): Well I know you don't want to hear this but things are changing maybe not for you which means....the one in love is always the last to know.Ok sorry but it's the truth from what I read here but like everyone else who is lost in love seems to me your gonna have to find out the loonnnngggg way because if your willing to bend over backwards for her and she wouldn't even make an effort to do the same for you actions will always be the first signs because the signs are there but it's totally up to you
Good luck and don't be afraid of change life does go on
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