A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have this thing that worries me a lot about love and woman in general. In my country its a like its ok for people, especially men, to cheat on their woman. Most woman would say as long as he respect me, as long as i dont know then im fine. Woman are treated like puppet and when you ask most man would say, that's what love is all about and unfortunately we need to share because so many men are in prison or gay, so woman dont have a choice but to accept that, like it or not her man will or is cheating on her. My worry is as a person, who is still single, i ask myself this question almost everytime when i meet someone because chances are there's no one for me, because i hate the fact of sharing a man, if its a fact! Is it possible that i might be lonely for the rest of my life if i dont stop being picky because all man cheat and no one has her own man.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (9 August 2015):
 Hi
You are not being too picky but due to cultural norms in the area where you currently live you may need to reconsider if shifting to a different area might allow you to meet a more respectful man who would be honoured to date a woman who respects herself and has standards to be admired.
You also sound intelligent. That you should be proud of - because guys who just want to ''use'' woman may notice that about you and recognize that they have no chance of just ''using'' you and moving on.
Have you checked out the demographics of where you live?
You may live in an area where there are many women and less men - that reduces your chances of finding a guy in your area.
Truly all over the world there are places where there are far more men than
women. When that happens the men who want to settle down with a good women are very eager to impress a woman with their respectful behaviour.
Even in the same country there can be more men than women in one area and more women than men in another area.
Keep yourself busy.
If you can find a way to study to improve your chances of an even better career path then do it.
If you see ways to improve your financial situation by tightening your budget to save for a better future then do it.
If you see a course you could afford to do online or in your country then do it.
Keep yourself fit and healthy.
You are doing the right thing in not dropping your standards.
I agree with you, because I could never ever consider a relationship if I had to share my man.
And don't give up hope. I was widowed and I remarried when I was a little older than you.
Another way that could bring you into contact with some more intelligent single (not married and not in a relationship) men is to join a (male and female) service group (that is predominately male) doing volunteering in your community.
Go where the nice men congregate.
Think about what social, sporting or specific interest groups exist in your community. In my community there is a car club where the members are almost all men with and just a very few women. A woman who joined the car club would no doubt find men who though she was wonderful, solely on the basis that she shared his love of cars.
Or maybe a (male and female - though predominately male) self help group focused on learning or teaching a skill.
Though what you have available I am not sure.
I joined a class to learn woodcarving and I was the only female in the while class for the whole term.
All the guys were lovely to me. However as I am in a relationship I was not interested in doing more than smile and be pleasant back when one invited me out (which I graciously declined). I do wear my rings so I cannot imagine he did not realise that I am married.
Another thing I recognise is that some girls work in a predominately all female environment. But talk to the other girls and discover if they have brothers. Tell the girl (if you like the sound of her single brother) your wish to find a faithful good man who does not want to cheat.
An introduction to a brother through his sister can be a real bonus.
Alternatively some girls work in a predominately almost all male area. That was my situation until recently and it was very enjoyable. guys can be very funny when they are relaxed and comfortable being themselves.
Keep on dressing nicely, and being charming and gracious and keep your eyes and ears open to an opportunity to meet a nice guy.
But if the culture is totally centred on men not being faithful then maybe consider my earlier suggestion of relocating.
regards
Abella
A
male
reader, IvanD  +, writes (2 August 2015):
I don't think there is anything wrong with you wanting this. It shows your need for real commitment in a relationship and thats a good (but not always easy!) thing.
Its hard for you that you live in a society where this kind of commitment is not normal. but there will be some men out there who want the same as you. If someone falls in love with you, he will not want to go with other women, especially if he knows you don't want him to. If he truly loves you then he will respect what you want, and he will stay with you.
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