A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a virgin guy and 20. I've finished my first year of uni. There have been a few girls. I kissed one in a club, danced with a few and there was one i was interested in but she wasn't. Anyway yesterday i met up with my mates who i hadn't seen in a few years and we all went out for his birthday. We went to this club and it was so ******* great. I wasn't really focused on getting girls or anything i was juts happy dancing my head off. Towards the end of the night this girl came up to me and wanted to have sex with me. She was all over me but i wasn't really on it plus i didn't wanna lose my virginity to some random. She started crying saying she'd lost her bag and coat so i just left with my buddy.My friend whose party it was, was saying about how he's slept with loads of girls and i felt kinda envious and jealous. They were really hot, sexy beautiful girls. All the people there were very confident and knew what they wanted in their lives. I felt so inferior as i've never had a job, confidence, money or a girl. I tried finding a job but couldn't so i just gave up on that.Whenever girls come onto me i'm just not interested because i don't believe that they can really love me or even want to be anywhere near me.There were loads of girls dancing around me but i was just too terrified to go up to them and start dancing because they'd reject me, even though my friends went up to them and were accepted.I've kinda accepted that so now i just really focus on myself. The one thing i'm aiming for is to get money and a car as then i'd truly be happy especially the car.I reject people before they reject me and i've been doing that for a while and it's ok i guess but i just feel like i'm majorly missing out and that people will never like me.Right now i just feel like i'm really missing out and that i'll never get sex because i'm too fussy. I always imagined my first time to be with someone special and who i cared about and they cared about me but everyone else is just having sex with anybody and they're loving it. Do you think that maybe i'm being too fussy and picky? I mean i'm young and should be out there sleeping with tons of girls but i just sit at home all the time reading books and playing xbox trying to convince myself that all will work out in the end.I feel like i'll wake up one day and will have wasted my youth.HELP?
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confidence, jealous, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): Dude I feel you I am sort of in the same boat. My advice to you is to find a girl who has the same interests as you then you can really hit it off like some one who is in one of you clases or something.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMaybe i'm being too picky but i haven't approached girls in a long time because most of them dont even give me the time of day and are rude.
I don't wanna lose my virginity in my current state of mind and not to a random ugly girl that i find in a club.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (31 July 2011):
 you seem to have given plenty of thought to this and have good insight which is good and very useful in solving the problem, rather than just saying 'i've not lost my virginity - why??'
if you feel you are TOO picky, then just start giving a wider range of girls a chance, you may be pleasantly surprised by them.
don't feel inferior to other people who seem to have more confidence and know where they are going in life. you don't know how they REALLY feel, they may be as unsure of themselves as you are but they are just doing a better job of acting confidently
x
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