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Am I being stupid for getting upset coz we aint even an item?

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Question - (7 March 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *irstylou writes:

Hiya!

There is this guy i really like, we aint in a relationship but we meet up whenever he has time and shows alot of affection etc. Been doing this for 5 months.

well what it is he has gone away to ireland for 4 days with the guys, he will be back sunday and my mind is doing overtime, i keep gettin myself down thinking wether he will chat any other women up or even kiss and do stuff with them.

Am I being stupid for getting upset coz we aint even an item? I just dont know wether he will do that even though he likes me?

sorry if my question sounds stupid, i would just like some views on it to settle my mind.

xxx

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A female reader, scythe Australia +, writes (8 March 2008):

scythe agony aunthey darl,

i've just entered a similar relationship and its been going on for about a month.

i think that guys our age will act like guys our age - so dont expect him to be an angel while he is away, even though you would like him to. especially coz he has gone with his mates. however! it is prefectly normal to not want him to do things with other girls so dont feel ashamed of thinking this way.

it's a strange place to be, when your sorta seeing a guy but there's no commitment as of yet. i find myself expecting more but then thinking that im expecting too much and worrying that he doesnt feel the same way.

ide love to chat bout this - pm/email me if you want :)

take care, and remember to try and not be nosey about what he got up to in ireland. if he doesnt tell you then he either doesnt want to hurt your feelings (meaning he cares about you) or he is ashamed or it meant nothing to him.

-scythe

xox

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (8 March 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntIf he likes you as much as he says he does, chances are he won't do the things that you are thinking he will do, because his HEART is taken!

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (8 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntApply those same rules to yourself .

Will you chaffed under those higher standards?

We should not try to control anybody

and neither do we want others to control us.

Live and let live.

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A male reader, gramm Australia +, writes (8 March 2008):

gramm agony aunthiya its normal for you to be thinking what yr thinking,but one one of my motos is why worry if doesnt get you any where,what you think about most is what you are so the more you worry about it basicly thye more worrying yr going to be doing.if he really likes you and hes actually a nice,decsent guy he wont do anything,he will wait for you,and if hes not,well he wasnt what yr looking for and it wasnt meant to be,so do all you can to relax,take care,if you need a males point of view im right here. graham

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A female reader, Entirely Unique United Kingdom +, writes (8 March 2008):

Entirely Unique agony auntJust because you aren't an item doesn't mean you don't hold valid feelings for this guy.

The fact you aren't an item means theres more freedom for him to do things someone wouldn't do if you was an item therefore more chance of you suffering jealousy.

Is there a reason that after 5 months of him treating you like a girlfriend when you're together that you're not actually in a relationship with each other?

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