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anonymous
writes: I think I am being stalked. My ex boyfriend from about 4 years ago turned up at my house and totally freaked me out, so I told him I didn't want to see him again. But I'm sure he keeps ringing my house and driving past my house staring in and I don't want to get the police involved, or my parents because they would worry too much... advice please!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2005): I can totally relate to how you are feeling as I have first hand experience of being stalked and it went on for 7 years. Other people who have not been through it do not realise the fear and torment that the victim has to endure. It does get worse, you owe it to yourself to protect yourself! Get in contact with stalking survivors and take all precautions for your safety, ie change phone numbers, extra security locks,etc. Take up strength training and self defence. My nieghbour took advantage of my good nature and played on my weaknesses,he accused me of leading him on when all I did was chat to him in the street. However, he made a pass at me and I rejected him and at that point the terror began...He would go into my garbage, call me and withhold his number,send me crude valentines,gifts,lovenotes,hatenotes, the list goes on. I am a fitness instructor and I was very confident, I lost my sense of worth and my health suffered and I became agorophobic...do not let this happen to you.I refused to move house on principal but my nieghbour still lives there so you could say I am still on guard, I have not seen him for about 2 months since he got out of prison for unrelated offences but I am very cautious and aware. Please contact the police and tell as many people as possible and stay vigilant. Good luck and take careX Mia from liverpool.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (6 May 2005):
 You did the right thing telling him that you don't want to see him, if that's the way you feel. Ensure if he turns up again that you keep saying it, in a way that he can't misunderstand. Something like "Go away and don't bother me any more". Don't be too gentle about it, because you don't want him to claim you were too ambiguous and "led him on".Keep a diary of who, what and when. Write down the time of day when he drove/stopped by, what you saw (description of vehicle, how many people inside, etc), what, if anything, was said. Write down any comments he makes.Reconsider your reluctance in getting the police involved. This is what the police *DO* -- they protect you from scary people. I work for the police, so I know what I'm talking about. Don't worry a tiny bit that you're being too much trouble! Cops are there as a service to the community and they get paid, no matter what. All you need to is ring your local police number and tell them that you're uneasy because you think your ex is stalking you. They'll tell you what to do next.And, if you live with your parents, they're *already* involved. It's their house, their phone number, their daughter... Tell them what's going on, just in case your ex turns out to be a threat. They may want to change the phone number, or make some other change to protect you and themselves.Don't take any unnecessary risks. Your ex might just be a harmless nutter, but if he's any danger at all, you don't want to take the chance. Let the police do their job of protecting you from harm.Take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2005): Write down the plate number on his car and leave it in your room with a description. Make sure you are always with someone.
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