A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I came out of a relationship about 3 months ago. And since then I've been chatting to friends and such, and my one friend was going through a break up/being messed around by her ex who is basically a womaniser. Anyway, through my friend and through me helping her with advice and someone to talk to, I met her best friend. I added her on facebook intially, primarily for me and her to chat about our friend who was going through the break up. Anyway, time went on and obviously all knowing each other we bumped into each other a few times at gigs and that, only brifely, not in depth talks, we kept that for facebook and text etc.Anyway, recently we talked more and that, and my friend who is nearly over her boyfriend troubles cottoned onto me speaking more and that to this girl. So she obviously knew as well and was like yeah you should go for it.So talking it slowly still, I worked up my way to giving her a call now and then at night and we'd chat for a bit, tell her a few bad jokes that she would laugh at etc.Anyway, I asked this girl if she wanted to meet up sometime and she said she would like to but there are three things.Firstly, she isn't over her ex boyfriend properly, she said its still annoying her...I stayed out of that conversation because it isn't my business, even though this ex boyfriend of hers is a womaniser, basically all around the place.Secondly. My friend I helped with the break up and who I met this girl I liked through, me and her dated when we were like 14. It wasn't serious. We met on holiday, found out we lived local, went out for a week, saw her once, and then obviously at a young age of 14, I was immature, and didn't really talk and such, mainly because I was a young lad, shy of girls still etc. Anyways, she said it would just be wierd for her, since me and her best mate had gone out for a month and a bit when we were younger. I obviously was like, it was 4 years ago, I saw her once, it was nothing.Thirdly. She said she likes another boy and that if she met up with me she would feel like she was throwing her feelings away for this boy she likes. She said he likes someone else and she isn't doing anything about it, she is just waiting there for something to happen. All the while, I'm here! Wanting me and her to spend time together and get to know each other better than brief meetings at gigs and meals etc.She said she has trouble letting people in and such ever since her boyfriend, her ex, Sam let's call him, messed her around and such.The catch with all that is he fucked her up and also her best mate. So these two girls became friends through one boy messing them round. And they still both aren't over him.Anyway, so she's said all that to me, we chatted about it all at like 3am in the morning which I thought was odd. And I said to her well, you're waiting for a boy to change his mind, what's wrong with me waiting as well, and she laughed and was like 'I'm not going to change my mind' etc.So if she likes someone else, but would rather just wait for him to change his mind and not meet up with me, is she worth my time? I mean she's smart and funny and has a lot in common with me. She said she has more in common with this other boy, who she has known for 2-3 months, and me and her have known each other for about 20 days a bit more, so you know, if we did meet up, I'm positive we would find more in common etc.So basically what can I do in a sitauation like that? I want to meet up with her and that, because I'm confident me and her would get on very well in person despite her saying she is "different in person and she changes etc to fit other people"Should I keep talking to her when I can or give her a ring now and then to stay in contact and hope 'good things come to those who wait' ?
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