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female
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anonymous
writes: I got the feeling my boyfriend was meeting a girl for lunch or to hang out at work. Here is why.Hope you don't get confused. Read carefully and thanks. On Thursday night, he only got about 3 hours of sleep.. due to a flat. I stayed at his place while he switched cars with a friend. But it didn't stop him from shaving in the morning on Friday. Also, my boyfriend doesnt work in an office, he fixes things for a living. Therefore he can wear jeans, t-shirt etc. I noticed he brought a collared shirt with him and a cut off shirt (not quite a tank top but close to it, it just has a little more material on the shoulders). Bear in mind, it was raining bad that day. The short sleeved shirt he brought though, (it's the type guys wear over a t-shirt etc when going out.) It felt like nice material to me, he says it's just in case he needs to change. But I do know he doesn't like working outside in the rain. Most times he will just sit in his truck and wait for it to stop before going to the customer's place and possibly working outside. I definitely know that is true for him. My two friends say the combination of shaving on 2 or 3 hours of sleep and the shirt is weird and they would thinks its supsicious. Now, Saturday morning it was not raining, it was a nice day. I placed his dirty clothes in a bag and placed the shirt back in the closet to see if he would notice. He did and I said I thought you only needed it for the rain so I put it away. He then said its a half dirty shirt, he wore it the other day. He isn't allowed to wear tank tops in the garage type place where he needs to go in the morning every morning for work. So he puts it on over that he says. He brought it along with him again and I was trying to be optimistic and assume just in case it was hot, he can change into it from his t-shirt. (Although I just don't know why he didn't wear the cut off shirt from the begin with). Telling my friend this, she said well maybe he is telling the truth now since you know it's true he really isn't supposed to wear tank tops. The thing is I think he took the CUT OFF SHIRT with him along with it. And here is where I get confused.I saw he left the collared shirt at his family member's place when stopping by (most of his stuff is there and he lives there to keep them company in a way). And this morning when getting ready at his own place, he wears a cut off shirt to work. I did say something in the car and said you didn't bring a shirt with you this time? and he said no. I then said aren't you going to get in trouble and he said they will tell me over breakfast. He says it's a cut off shirt so he can get away with it a little more rather than a tank top. It's a little more material and I guess it makes a difference. He also says he doubts a lot of people will there for overtime today.Now, he brought that cut off shirt with him Friday morning. If he can somewhat get away with it, why bring the other shirt? And he brought it again Saturday as well with the cut off shirt but wore a t-shirt. Why bring it AGAIN that day. The other thing is, on Saturday he needed to finish as early as he could because there was a kid's birthday party we needed to go to. So by 2:30 he said he was on his last job which made me assume, when would he meet someone today and maybe I should just believe him.I really don't know what to think... I do not see him every day so I don't know if he brings a shirt with him when he wears a tank top. On the times I did see him, I do not remember him bringing a shirt to wear over his tank top unless of course he brought one from the other day and just leaves it in his truck. But I do know there were times I saw him in a tank top or cut off shirt and he didn't bring a shirt along with him. He wears sneakers now and he says he changes into his shoes before entering the garage because you aren't allowed to wear them and then changes back. Maybe it's possible on the times I saw him, he kept a shirt in the truck but when I see him Thursday night and Friday night, I don't see him bring a shirt home for laundry. I also see him Saturday nights as well but later on in the evening. Am I being paranoid? It seems like some of this is not adding up and I don't know if it's me or not.Please write back. Thank You.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Boy oh boy! Talk about building an empire from a paper clip (to quote an ex boss of mine). You're not a lawyer, by any chance, are you? You certainly have a gift for analyzing this incident like one - if not analyzing it to death.
What is your overall relationship with this man like? Do you find him to be evasive when you ask questions, or non-communicative? Has he ever lied to you? How comfortable are you in talking frankly with him? In other words, do you have good, solid reasons to think he might have plans to meet another girl? Solid, cast-iron reason, that is, as opposed to something you have pulled out of thin air, as it were?
In any case, if you act suspicious toward him, question his every move, it will be detrimental to your relationship, eventually.
I suppose you could just outright ASK him: something such as "You know, I noticed you were more dressed up Friday (Sat., whenever it was) and I got a funny feeling wondering if you were meeting someone for lunch. Silly of me, huh?" See what he says. If he reassures you that he was not meeting someone, then LEAVE IT ALONE!
And, find better ways to occupy your mind!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): I think you need more evidence (if evidence is the right word) than this whole shirt theme. Perhaps you could drop by unexpectedly or, suggest seeing him when you think he's on a date. If you can't do this perhaps someone can on your behalf. I would monitor the situation calmly for now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Um. Well if he had brought the cut off shirt and the other shirt on Friday and he brought the SAME two shirts on saturday, it doesn't sound like he is going out on a date. Just because if he was dating someone else, he probably would have worn something DIFFERENT on both days. NOT the same two shirts back to back.
I see what you are saying though. Even though he may not be going out with someone else, you think maybe he likes someone else, at work or something, that he is trying to look good for. I don't think you are going to find much out by observing his use of shirts. Instead, just CASUALLY ask him about work. Ask if there is a new secretary or any new co workers. Tell him you are curious because someone you know is looking for a job or something like that. DON'T ACT SUSPICIOUS. Ask him what is a typical day for him. For instance what did he do on Friday? Just say that your friend wants to know because he is interested in the job. But DO ask about work, if casually.
Hope I could help.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (14 August 2007):
 Hi
Um to be honest i think you are over anylising! You dont trust this guy do you. There is way too much thinking going on about clothing. But obviously we will only see a small picture of the grand scheme of things in here. But from what you have asked, i would say yes, you are being a bit paranoid. Is there any other reasons you think he might be playing away?
C xxxxx
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