A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a 49yo professional woman with a stable spouse and a successful career. I have owned my own business now for 10 years. My husband and I have been married for 24 years and we have zero debt. Eight years ago, we had borrowed $100,000 from my parents with interest of $200/month until we paid it off. Long story short, we paid interest on the loan up to 3 years ago--my husband lost his job due to a merger and got a new job immediately. I was going through a rough patch due to the economy. Anyway, my parents sent over a very complicated legal document that was so impersonal and difficult to understand. They requested the back interest and the principal. My sister, who is a lawyer drafted it up. They don't seem to understand that I am hurt by being presented this document. They just remark that it is a standard document. I wrote them checks for the full amount but am still hurt to be treated in this way. By the way, I am not hurt I had to pay them back at all. It was my responsibility to do that. Am I being sensitive here? Thanks.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 February 2016):
 I can see why you feel upset by this, I am sure if you asked them there version off events would be very different. They probably wanted everything done legally for many reasons. So that you both know where you stand, also in case anything ever happens them there are documents there when it comes to inheritance between you and your siblings.
I think you should explain to your parents how this has made you feel and am sure they have an explanation for it. I don't think its about you but more about them getting there finances in order.
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (2 February 2016):
It is difficult to advise you with certainty without seeing or knowing the nature of the document and knowing more about family dynamics.
It doesn't sound like they were/are adversarial, but they just want to keep you current with payments and thereby preventing the issue from blowing up. As Honeypie says, $100,000 is a lot of money. Your parents are of the age where they should finally be able to travel and enjoy some of the luxuries they've worked for all these years. Or they may want your sister not to be unfairly burdened with their financial needs if that is an issue.
This sort of thing comes along with borrowing money from family members. I see why you might feel sensitive to this but think how they feel with $100,000 at risk. I think they did the right thing and you should respect that.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (2 February 2016):
They are completely in their right to do so.
If you didnt want to be treated in a business way by your parents, you shouldnt have borrowed money from them.
Borrowing 100k is big girl time. Be prepared to be treated like one.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 February 2016):
 $100,000 is a lot of money. And I presume they wanted to make sure you fulfilled your original obligations. And a loan of this size HAS a bearing to the "estate" as well, in case something happened to them, all loans etc. needs to be accounted for.
I see nothing wrong in making sure all the legal details are in order, HOWEVER... I think they should NOT have used your sister to draw up the document.
Just like a bank would have called in a loan that wasn't being paid for, so did your parents. Did you discuss the financial trouble you and your husband had, before stopping the payment?
Family or not, they are well within their rights to make sure that the loan gets paid back.
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