A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been together and living with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. The first 6 months were like that out of a fairy tale novel; surprise trips, PDA, affection, respect and a complete gentleman willing to do anything to make me smile/laugh. After that, it was like hitting a brick wall. The sex went from every-other night to once a month, I got no kissing other than a quick peck, no affection, no more romantic gestures and completely selfish in all actions. I understand that everyone goes through a honeymoon phase in relationships, but it doesn't have to completely stop. It was brought up numerous times and it seems to have gotten a bit better but I went through hell to try and get him to see what he was doing to us. The sex never improved. I caught him 5 times with internet porn and each time I vowed to leave and he promised to never hurt me again. This being the 5th time, I'm at a lost as to what to do. He has no reason as to why he keeps doing it and knows that I beg him for sex. I'm not overweight, ugly or by far horrible in bed. I've had relationships before where there was too much sex. Now, I'm begging for it. I guess, I'm just begging for him to want me and I don't know what to do. I get sick at seeing him on the internet now when all in all, I would have been ok with incorporating that into our sex life...if we had one. And he knows this. I don't know what to do and if we should still stay together.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ctds001  +, writes (16 June 2010):
Right now being misertable and unloved do you really feel in love?
Or are you in love with how he used to treat you?
You are not married get out and find true happiness, life is too short. You need someone who can fulfil your needs for the long term, not this man who has become selfish and unloving!
Good luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): Just plain dumb in love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): Well it sounds like he has addiction to porn and more than likely this started way before he met you, so please do not blame yourself, so what to do? well that depends on what you want to happen, do you love him? want to stay with him? would you support him if he admitted he had a problem and wanted to get help for it? believe me it will be a long bumpy ride. It is no use, as you have found out giving ultimatums to leave and then not carrying it out, you should only ever say what you are willing to do and carry it out if need be, otherwise he will not respect you and continue to walk all over you, you need to set yourself some boundaries and stick to them. If you don't love him then the easiest thing for you to do would be to walk away. Addictions come in all sorts of forms be it Alcohol, Gambling, Drugs etc maybe this is his drug of choice, porn addiction coupled with masturbation, works on the chemicals in the brain to release a feel good factor, that is why they find it so hard to overcome it without professional help. You can also look up the site //npsupport.net
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): Dear Poster
This is probably not the answer you were looking for but I think you are wasting your time; It sounds as if you are not compatible; you are unhappy and miserable and he is not doing anything to try and improve things in the relationship; I don't see any reason why you are wasting time hanging around with this guy; things won't change or get better overnight; if you have discussed this and have tried then well, unless you want to live like this for the rest of your life, get out.
You should take stock and do what is best for you; you deserve to be happy; if yu cannot be happy with him; vow, get out and rather be alone and have the opportunity of meeting somebody that might care enough to make you happy; somebody that will make you feel special and treat you with love and respect; a relationship takes effort and consideration from both parties; it is give and take;
I do hope and trust that you will take some time and consider what you are doing with your life; stop wasting time and energy if you are in a "cul de sac" (dead end). Then find your way out and start a new path and new road.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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