A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, I'm sorry if this question gets a little confusing, but i just need a little help...Right, just over a year ago i managed to get myself out of an emotionally [sometimes physically] abusive relationship. Since that time i have found it hard to trust lads, thinking that they are all going to be the same [I don't mean to offend anyone here xx]. I still see the lad around as we hang about in the same group. All of my friends are still friends with him, but i don't feel comfortable with it. The thing is i still say i enjoy being single, but i don't like the fact that it has been over a year and i still haven't kissed anyone or been out with anyone else, and i hate saying that he was the last person i kissed etc. I would like to move on and maybe meet someone, but i am worried again that they will be the same.Also I am worried about change. My brother is almost 21 and says he is ready to move out, and i have just turned 18, and feel like i still need to be young for the sake of my family, like they wouldn't want me growing up, this is another reason i haven't really found someone to go out with. Is there something wrong with me?I did really like someone and still have an attraction to him but then he got together with my best friend so i'm starting to feel like there is no hope. There is this lad in our group who likes me a lot, and he is such a nice genuine person, but i'm not physically attracted to him, and think of him as more of a friend, but he has been after me for so long, i'm kinda thinking i am being mean and should just go out with him...I'm so confused. Please give me a straight answer and let me know if you have any advice... Thanks xxx
View related questions:
best friend, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): Okay, well regarding the guy who likes you, I don't think you are being mean by turning him down. Not at all. I think you are just being honest. If you don't really like someone in that way, then it isn't a good idea to get involved with them because you are worried about hurting their feelings. That's never a good idea. There will be other girls out there who will like him and want to date him, so he won't be forever alone if you say no. Just let him know that you would like to be friends, nothing more, and he will probably be fine with that.
I also think that there is nothing wrong with you at all. You have come out of an abusive relationship, which must have been difficult. So if you don't feel ready to jump into another relationship, that is totally understandable. You probably need time to come to terms with everything. And there is no law saying that you HAVE to be in the dating scene. If you want to be by yourself for a while, that is fine, and normal.
This doesn't mean that you will never be with anyone ever again though. Of course you will. But perhaps now just isn't the right time for you. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to move on and start again with relationships. Give yourself as much time as you need.
As for your family, do you feel like you have to remain young for them? Why is that? I'm sure that, ultimately, your parents want you to be happy. I suppose it must be hard for parents to see their children growing up and moving on, but every parent faces it. And you know what they say, no matter how old you are, you always remain a child to your parents! I'm sure your family would love to see you grow and develop how you want to. As long as you are happy, I think that is the most important thing for families.
I hope something here helps. x
|
