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female
,
anonymous
writes: Am I being jealous? My fiance and I were at dinner the other night with some of my friends. And one of my friends dyed her hair blonde. (My fiance likes blondes). Anyways, when she walked in he looked at her for awhile which made me mad. Then he had the audacity to compliment her hair (I know it seems like it's a simple gesture). But, then he asked why he hasn't seen her on myspace lately. Then, when we left he asked me where she lives now. I asked why he cared so much, and brought up that he was flirting with her and that he must like her based on all of his comments throughout the evening. He said that he didn't even find her attractive. Am I just overreacting, or can a girl really know when her significant other is checking someone out? Now he says that I am just really jealous. Another thing I noticed was yesterday at the gym he was checking out this girl in a sports bra. Later that night he asked when I was going to wear a sports bra to the gym, and I asked if it was because he saw that girl at the gym. He had the nerve to say that he purposely didn't look at any other girls. I don't care that much if he looks at girls, it's just that he won't even admit it! Am I just paranoid and insecure, or is he doing things that would make any girl upset?
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male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (8 May 2007):
 Dont go down that path!! You not ugly, dont let his selfish actions determine that, when you know its not true.
You need to talk to him and make him understand what effect all this is having on you and the realtionship. If you cant come to some middle ground or understanding about all this then this man does'nt deserve you, as he is hurting you by his constant ignorance towards the person he is supposed to love and care about.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah, I have noticed that I have actually started looking for girls that I think he will think are attractive...it makes me so sick! He makes me feel so ugly!
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (8 May 2007):
Ok, ogling the opposite sex in my book is disrespectful to your partner. The occasional glance and admiration is ok, but to stare and do some of the things he has done is out of order.
How would he feel if you done the same down the Gym? Watching men and the like? I bet you he would find it uncormfortable to deal with.
You have every right to be jealous if this is the way he is acting. He needs to roll up his tongue and put back in his mouth and discover what he has in front of him; you.
Not only is he ignoring your feelings but he is lying to you about how he looks at other women. Only you can know how bad he is and from there if you are being paranoid.
The thing is with paranoia, is that you end up looking for things and you end up seeing them everywhere, maybe in an innocent situation.
If it is as bad as you say, then he HAS to respect your feelings as your confidence is going to be damaged and so is your level of trust.
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A
male
reader, michael hughes +, writes (8 May 2007):
i feel that in a relationship you can find other people attractive but not love them like you do to your partner. i dont find you jealous i feel that you dont trust him enough. think about it this way if you was at a gym and a man had tight shorts on you would look. thats what it is like with your husband. i would talk to your husband and tell him what is on your mind. if it a strong relationship well you will find a way to get over it.
good luck mail me back and tell me if everything is working out
thnks xxxx
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