A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am dating a guy I work with, we aren't really too serious yet, just in the "new stages". He's great and our relationship has real potential. Because we work together I get to know and see a little bit more of his personal life. When I started working here, we were both seeing other people. I don't talk to the guy I was seeing anymore, however about 3 times a week I will be sitting with him by his computer and an email notification pops up from her. I can read the first few lines of the email... and it's kind of flirty in relation. I know it's not her bugging him, because he responds. It makes me uncomfortable because i think it's hard to start a new relationship and really give it your all, when the past still lingers. Since we just started "dating" i don't know how or when to bring this up to him. Again... we are in the early stages and things are a little confusing. Oh let me also mention, that I am 21... and he is 36... so things that bother me, may be trivial to him. Is this a sign of immaturity on my part or do i genuinely have a case??? Please help...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2007): Thanks for your help...
To clarify early stages meaning... we have known each other and been really good friends for about a year... we started actually dating each other around January... that's what i mean by early stages... Also we aren't in an "open" relationship. We are only seeing each other and have agreed that if either one of us wants to see someone else, that we shouldn't date each other. Neither one of us is the "open" relationship kind of person. ???
A
female
reader, elsie  +, writes (25 April 2007):
 i think the fact you are asking questions about what to do shows that you feel valid concern and that this must be bugging you.approach him in a casual manner and ask him if he still wants to see his ex?if so you know where you stand otherwise you will get deeper and deeper into this relationship and wish youd said something before.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (25 April 2007):
 You need to be sure of yourself what kind of relationship you are looking for. If its an open one than you cant complain about his "other" woman. To be in an open realtionship takes alot and you need to be able to deal with the emotions or look past them. It sounds like you cant and this might prove difficult for you,as it already has.
Talk to him and find out where he wants your relationship to go, and what his intentions are. You say you are both in the early stages, but how early?
You should be careful of him not playing you , so it is best to discover his feelings and go from there.
All the best..
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