A
female
age
41-50,
*eenybaby
writes:My partrner of 11 years has started a job good pay , he provides for me and my son , but we have drifted apart the last few weeks as he keeps going to the pub every Friday straight after work, no dinner or no bath, hr cones back drunk as anything , and gets very mind gaming and mouthful towards me. Tonight he came back and i was at a neighbours house waiting to see him stagger to my front door. He didn't even call to see where I was, as I never go out due to being agaphobic :( .. I didn't go bk in for a few hrs as i was hoping he would go to bed, but when I got in, he was awake in livingroom all glazed eyed and drunk. He asked where I've been in a nasty mannor and i didn't tell him. Due to that he told me to get out, even though this place is in my name ,and we r not married. I am at my witts end here , I don't know what to do weather to tell him to leave or just put up with this every Friday night. I'm scared of losing him at the same time, coz when he nit drinking he is a fab man to me. He is my best friend, and it hurts me so much when he does this. He knows I hate I'm drinking but he dont listern, he been told by doc he got gout due to heavy drinking.He pays for everything and always throws it in my face , he wants a baby but I don't all tge time he like this. My son not his son,but he been there from day 1 for 10 years on and off, as he used to leave me every year for 2 months then crawl bk to me...am I being a door mat ? Or shall I just put up with this sillyness? He has no family here as they all moved away up north, so he has nowhere to go so if I kick him out he will try n put his foot down and give me greef and stress even more
View related questions:
best friend, drunk, neighbour Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (27 August 2011):
 Is your partner perhaps feeling depressed? Alcohol can often be used by a person to self medicate themselves when they are feeling trapped and depressed. Your guy is binge drinking once a week. This then results in you being subjected to abusive conduct. All this is unacceptable and not good for your child either. And no you are not a doormat. You just do not yet have enough support.What you are facing makes your Friday night a horrific imposition and must have you dreading Friday night. It is completely unacceptable. You need to put the health and safety of you and your child first. Without doubt TalkToFrank.com is the best counselling service to suit your needs to get support regarding your partners Alcohol use. Talk to Frank in the United Kingdom is a wondeful support service that you can access for free. They also provide a convenient text speak number.Alcoholics Anonymous in Great Britain can also help people who are worried about a loved one mis-using alcohol. you can contact them on 08457697555 or please see the email at their web siteIf you need better support to find out what help you can access in the face of Friday night domestic violence then try THE National Domestic Violence HELPLINE. This is free. The number is 08082000247the web site is nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.ukDue to my first comment at the start I am also going to list some additinal services that may assist you in England and may be able to provide you with support or ideas on where to go to get help including:Samaritans – NationalPhone: 08457 90 90 90their web site also gives a direct email addressSamaritans is a confidential emotional support service for anyone in the UK. It is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.SANE - NationalPhone: 0845 767 8000 (cost of local call, 6pm to 11pm)SANEline is a national out-of-hours telephone helpline offering emotional support and information for people affected by mental health problems.Mind – Wales and EnglandPhone: 0845 766 0163 (9am – 5pm, Mon – Fri)please see the web site for the email address.Mind is the leading mental health charity in England and Wales. They provide a confidential mental health information service, support and understanding. They can help you find where to get help in your own area.Even if you think you will not be able to cope alone please contact the Citizen's Advice Bureau and discuss your rights and what suggestions they can offer to help you survive this roller coaster. If his drinking gets much worse then he could start drinking more often. And even lose his job. So you need to get help now to start addressing this problem now. My best wishes to you for the future. Life does not need to be this mean and nasty. Do not suffer in silence, get some help from counselling services.
|
