A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just wondered if I am horrible or not to my boyfriend of 10 months.Just lately I have been getting mood swings. We have talked about it and I have apologised for snapping at him. At the time my friend gave me some cannabis and it made me flat and depressed- I felt guilty cos i knew what i was doing to the relationship. After two weeks I gave the stuff away. Also i had one or two other problems which were making me unhappy. He said I never looked liked i was pleased to see him whenever he came home from work. Since then we have had a couple of rows cos he said i was horrible to him during those two weeks and also we had trust problems because he had cheated on previous girlfriends and was dishonest with me in the beginning. He'd also done stuff to me like checking my emails etc.Despite that, we are very compatible in other ways. We are madly attracted to each other and talk for hours about anything and everything. We are also very warm and affectionate with each other. He has a 12 year old son and we all go out for days together and have a laugh.Last night he was quite late coming over to mine. He picks his son up on a tuesday after school and usually comes to mine for just after 8 pm. Well every week it has gotten later and later and later. Last night he rung me at 8.55 pm and told me he was only just leaving his home (half an hour away) as he'd been filling out papers for his son's school. I tried not to be angry but he seems to be doing a lot of late shifts just lately too and as I work 9-5, I don't get to see him until 10 o'clock at night when he finishes work; then i have to be in bed for 11pm. So i guess it just got to me that he couldn't even make it over earlier on his day off (he is on a late tonight too).When he came round I said he could have let me know and he snapped my head off and said that I'm sometimes late from work, so what?!!? I said my piece (not shouting) about why i was upset and then got up and busied myself in the kitchen and in the bedroom. I was still angry but didn't want to cause another row so distanced myself by doing laundry and other jobs. Eventually I sat down with him and chatted to him about mine and his day. He asked me if I was okay, as i seemed distant but i just said i was fine.My question is, am i a bitch? I try not to let things get to me, but things like this make me angry cos I feel our time is precious as he works quite a few late shifts.Also another question is, why do I keep feeling angry at him all the time for the slightest thing he does that annoys me? I don't want to lose him as I love him very much but realise my behaviour is going to push him away if I'm not careful. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): I am not stopping him having any time with his child. I would NEVER stop him from doing so. I am asking why things are getting me so angry easily.
A
female
reader, Justmealone +, writes (4 June 2008):
Either you need something for your nerves, or you need to move on. His child doesn't need that in his life, or some adult woman trying to take time from him with his dad. His child comes first before you and anyone else. Not trying to be mean here, just blunt. My ex had a wife JUST like this and now they are divorcing. She had totally stopped him from coming to visit the kids, calling them, having pictures of them, etc, etc.. And that wasn't right.
Since you get off so early in the work day, why don't YOU drive over to meet him and possible help him get things done, so you two can hang out earlier? That may be an idea to try.
Personally? I think you should move on, because dating a person with a child? It's going to leave you sitting on the back burner more than dating someone without any strings or a past.
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