A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We turned a year last sunday and I only received one phone call and he was too tires to talk anyways...Here is the story:We met through a mutual friend a year ago. Although it was long distance, he seemed like a good guy so I gave it a chance. Few months in, I noticed he was still talking to other girls. Confronted him and he told me it was nothing. Fast forward, I noticed he has stopped conversation with these girls. The first three months of our relationship, he went overseas for business and I was so miserable because the calls were not so frequent. When he came back the love sparks again and we continued with our relationship.Everything has been good. He is planning on relocating to my state to be closer to me and giving me hints that he is getting ready to propose soon.Well a month agao he decides to go overseas again. I dreaded the idea cos' I know how he is. Now he is there and the limited contact has started again. I should not be worried but I am beyond pissed cos' he promised thing will get better.I feel like when a man wants you he shows it and not tell you. I am very available to him even though I keep myself busy a lot. I answer his call 3am in the morning and stay up as long as he wants...He doesnt do the same. He works long hrs and if I call close to his bed time he says few things and he is ready to go. If I call him and catch him before he goes to work, he says the same thing I gotta go now. All I want is extra effort from his side, I am not the one who dragged him overseas. Yes I understand he wants to meake more money so he feels more comfortable in the relationship but I have needs and need assurance.What should I do? We have had the conversation so please dont tell me to talk to him...I want to ignore his calls and give him a break but he has asked me never to do that again in the past...I am just fed up of waiting on phone calls or a simple text. Like on our 1yr anniversary I begged for a poem and up until today I didnt get one...I just want more. DO WOMEN LIKE ME ASK FOR TOO MUCH WHEN WE REALLY THINK THOSE THINGS ARE SIMPLE GESTURES AND EVERY MAN SHOULD TRY TO BE SENSITIVE TO OUR NEEDS?
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a break, anniversary, long distance, money, spark, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 August 2011):
 are you willing to take on the financial burden??? you will have to if you want to be with him... trust me on this one... my finances are mess due to my past partner but my current partner is helping me to fix it up... he was willing to take on my mess and HELP ME fix it... not expect me to fix it myself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs it ok for a man who does not have his finances in order but is ready to settle down to have a woman in his life knowing that she will be affected by his actions and it could possibly put a toll on the relationship? Is this selfish? Shoulsn't the man refrain from a relationship if he is not selfish and if he doesn't refrain, he owes it to the woman to be good to her because she stuck around when he didn't have.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's easy to say I will walk away if things don't change but the fact of the matter is I think he will be a better man once he gets his finances together and bounce back from the money he lost from his last business dealings.
I watched my dad behave like this when he was financially down and things changed when he came back up. I want to give him a benefit of the doubt. I dont want to be a fool for love either who helps a guy and he dumps her for the next woman. SO I guess Im vulnerable right now and needs those little things like frequent phone calls & text to reassure me of where we are both heading.
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