A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I have been together for 6 years, and we are both 24. Neither of us drink, due to past issues in both families, and sharing the view that we don't need alcohol to have fun.Last week, a guy in his work was leaving, and so the office was having a bit of a leaving do for him. My fiance and I had plans for that evening, but we agreed that he would go out there first, then we would resume our plans (at a specific time) after.However, when it came to it, my fiance asked me to drop him to the place the party was being held, so that he could have a drink. At this I was a little annoyed, but put it behind me. We had previously talked about alcohol, and were both on the same page about it, so he knew how I felt about excessive drinking. In the end he stayed so long our plans were cancelled. He just decided to ignore it, and throw his views out the window.I know it's stupid, but this annoyed me quite a bit. I know he only drank because everyone else was drinking, and he can be easily led. I have never actually seen him drunk (that's how little he drinks), so I don't know how he would have been, and some of his actions in the past have been questionable.I'm not sure whether i'm more annoyed at him drinking like that, or him ignoring our plans. Am I an idiot for being annoyed about either of these things?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Cerberus. You're completely right in saying it's only a minor thing in 6 years, and I wouldn't destroy the relationship over it. It's just good to know I'm not being a wet blanket over it all!
By a questionable past, I mean that he's made some very stupid choices in regards to our relationship while sober, so it's frightening to think of the choices he'd make while drunk. I trust him when he tells me what happened, but because I've never seen him drunk it's a dark area for me.
Thanks again!
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (31 May 2013):
 No , you're normal and he's a cad for ruining your plans. I mean you can get drunk anytime.nut you can't please your mate any old time. those times you can please her/him are to be cherished.Like sex a good relationship comes from pleasing your partner as much as possible then good things will come your way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2013): No you're not an idiot for being annoyed he went against what he stated he would and would not do.
He said he's not a big drinker and doesn't get blasted yet he did. He made plans with you but he got drunk and blew you off.
You are in your right to be annoyed OP.
But once in 6 years is pretty great going don't you think? By all means you're in your right to be annoyed, but one minor, and yes this is minor, slip up in 6 years is something I think is best not to make too big a deal out of or let this escalate further.
I mean really, this is not so big that the last 6 years don't show the real him, he made a mistake and he needs to make that up to you, which to me would be to treat you to a meal, a weekend away or do anything of your choice and spoil you for a day. That would make up for blowing you off. As far as drinking goes OP, it's so easy to get caught up it that. We have a phrase here in Ireland "Ah sure, I'll just have one" basically a national joke because no one ever goes for just one drink, we all say it and we all come crawling home twisted drunk.
The one thing that makes me wonder is the past questionable actions you're talking about but I have a feeling they're not really relevant to him getting wasted this once in 6 years.
It's okay to be annoyed, he does have to make it up to you but this is probably not something worth making too big a deal about OP. We all make mistakes, and as long as he didn't do something majorly fucked up while drunk then 6 years of good service means you should let this go, after making it clear that you're pissed at him, he needs to make this up to you and remind him you didn't sign up for a relationship with a drunk.
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