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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have just turned 39 and I'm freaking out at the prospect of being loveless forever! Note that I say loveless and not " alone " , as I have no problem being by myself.I have never had a serious b.friend, even though I have always wanted a serious relationship. I go out to bars by myself and have no problem engaging men. I have casual sex and am a bit of a Samantha Jones, because I do not believe in being celibate while looking for love. I have spent too many years without sex in my life, because I was looking for that elusive boyfriend that I would never meet.On my birthday, I went out and met a guy who seemed interested...he said he was old : 31!!! When I said it was my 39th b.day, he sort of looked at me differently.I don't look anything like 39 and I'm very young at heart, very artistic and gypsy-like.I have decided not to lie about my age, I find it is silly. I don't want to have children and don't want the white picket fence life. How can I find the man for me? I am very liberated sexually but I am very sincere and I want an exclusive relationship. When I find guys that I like and are more adventurous and artistic, they are usually taken or into having multiple relationships, which I can't handle. Also, I want a boyfriend that is much younger.Any success stories you can share about meeting Mr Right 4 Me?Thanx.
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female
reader, Joyakz  +, writes (5 June 2008):
maybe im not sure...!help me..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): I am a single mother of 3, separated and divorced from my husband when I was 22. I am now 33 years old. I've only been in 2 real relationships during that time, the first one the guy was 15 years older than me (this was 2 years ago), had 2 kids and dumped me after 2 months and I still don't know why. I've been seeing someone for 3 months now. I consider myself to be attractive, have been told by many men that they admire me because of my looks, intellect and independency. The problem was that all the men who wanted me as a long term partner were either married, waaay older, and guys that I was just not attracted to. I too had no trouble finding men, but what I had always wanted was a long term relationship since I was suddenly single at 22. I was never able to find someone who wanted me the way I wanted them. Like I said, I am attractive (According to people), have come a long way on my own, but yet all the other females I knew were able to meet someone and settle down before me. They separate from their partner and BAM! they find someone again. And these females had 5 kids, or overweight, or on food stamp and welfare, flirts with other men, etc. I'm not saying I'm better than them, but I guess men see them as long term potentials versus me. As with this guy right now, I'm starting to get anxious because I feel he will be losing interest in me real soon and drop me. I definitely hope not, but if he does, I will be at that point where I will have to admit defeat and realize that I will be alone forever. I too have been criticized for having casual sex and have been told that men "sense" that I'm easy and that is why I am being "used". How am I being used if I wanted sex also? I refuse to be celibate for what would have been 7 or 9 years waiting for the "right" man. If I never find love I will not die never having sex because of 'morals'. It's very easy to judge others when you have never been in that situation and for so long. If I don't end up settling down and marrying this guy I'm with, I won't be able to have a success story for you. I do wish you the best of luck, only time will tell if you find someone, and I know that there may not be a happy ending for you or me as far as love...
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A
female
reader, JSB +, writes (4 November 2005):
Both my current partner and myself were struggling to find that life partner. We met through an introduction agency - he was the 4th guy I was introduced to and I was his 2nd. A good introduction agency does cost a fair bit of money but they are very careful to introduce you to people with the same criteria as yourself as regards age of partner, marriage, children, religiion etc.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2005): YOu won't meet him in a bar.I don't know what you do for recreation, but that is where to meet men. Unless the man already has children, it will be hard to find a younger man who doesn't want kids. Change your dream picture a little, and look for someone who already has all the children he wants.
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A
female
reader, buzzie  +, writes (1 November 2005):
I'm sorry to sound negative, but I think the reason that your havent found Mr. Right is that you are 39 and still going to the bars and having one night stands. So most men who are looking for a wife would think that you're not marriage material.
Also you said you are looking for a younger man and that you never want children. Well most young guys want a life partner that would some day at least be open to the idea of having a family one day.
You say that you want an elusive relationship but yet you are very liberated sexually? No wonder you're having a hard time finding a one woman man.
Maybe instead of only looking for younger guys you should look for a older guy who is divorced and already has kids ( then that way he probably woudlnt want anymore children and that would be perfect for you.
Also I would steer clear of the bar scene. Maybe join a church or take a cooking class, that's where you can meet some nice, single men who arent just looking for a one night stand.
M
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