A
male
age
51-59,
*omethingeasy
writes:For years I've pondered what the differences between the two really are. And I cant seem to figure out which one I fall under here.So far being lonely means, to me (or Ive researched) being sad that your alone. Not having confidence in yourself, basically you have no friends and think the world is crumbling down, a negative outlook on life.And being alone, means, just that. Your alone. But you do enjoy being alone. Your not depressed about it, in fact you enjoy it. Your happy, and you do have friends and what not, etc.Now reasoning for me posting this is pretty simple. At times I do feel lonely, I guess, like there is no one out there for me, or I sit around thinking, the day I meet Ms. Right will be the day everything changes.Well I have plenty of confidence, I also have "friends" but Id much rather spend my time in a more productive manner, like being alone. Ive dated on and off for a few years, and I just cant seem to find any interest in anyone.Im pretty complicated to begin with, Im far from being a simpleton, Im in shape, successful, and good looking.Its just that I havent been able to find anyone out there that is a perfect fit for me. And it leads me to believe at times that I am lonely. When in fact Im pretty sure that I am more alone than anything else.
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male
reader, surewhynot? +, writes (15 March 2009):
Hey, at least some women have given you a chance! I have been single for almost 2 years now, and I am watching my last girlfriend go through her second boyfriend since me. I have been shot down several times, with kind attempts to meet a woman. Now, I have resorted to just not giving a f#@k whether a woman wants me or not.
A sad realization- I am handsome, smart, loyal, trustworthy and I do nothing but give give give. I have never been cheated on any girl I have been with, and I have been tempted. It has bothered me for some time that women are not attracted to me. However, I am also finding out that there are some that are. Caught one checking me out earlier, and she was hot! However, I now ask myself- Who deserves me? Unfortunately, most women out there are fed this illusion of reality, that coaxes them into the most stupid relationships. This perspective is not real, and I am looking for a woman that is real and undeceived by the illusions of this world.
I can sit here and grovel about me and loneliness, or I can get up, say the hell with it, and press on. The fact is, if you know your awesome, you know that every woman you come across probably does not deserve you, act like it without arrogance. You can study those how to pick up women guides for nice guys that cannot meet women, but this is my take on those. That crap is just that- crap! Fake and stupid, and teaching men not to be themselves over the ideals of loneliness. Why should one change who they are, just because they are alone? That is fake and stupid! The truth is, if you are like this, you are real. If you are like this, when you meet her, she will be real, and not buying into crap like that. I might suggest meeting a loner woman- typically, they are real women.
A quote from a mature woman that I know- "Most women are trivial and petty. They don't figure it out until they are in their late 30s to 40s. Men like to watch sports, porn drink beer, and smoke. That is just the way they are! It does not mean they are not nice men. Why try to change that in a man, if he comes home to you everyday, and does what he is suppose too, and loves you?"
Men are imperfect, and so are women. The one thing you must realize, is that the perfect woman is not going to be perfect, but, she will be perfect to you. Accepting her imperfections is what makes her perfect. You seem to be in your late 30s, consider a woman in her late 30s to early 40s for a match.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Well , I think one can feel lonely even if s/he is among friends. Some get rid of this feeling like what you said when they find their other half. But one should not look for his other half just to get rid of this feeling. Just try to enjoy what you have in your life now till Ms.Right comes. Be sure that she will .
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Anonny  +, writes (9 December 2008):
Yes - actually I think there IS a difference between being alone and being lonely.Like you say - you can be alone and enjoy it! - You can enjoy your own company and come and go as you please,meet friends, do your own thing etc etc.But if you are lonely - it is like a depression being by yourself and wanting people around but not having them!You say you have confidence and friends - so make the most of it! - You're doing fine!! - You could be in a really unhappy relationship and feel more lonely than anyone who is actually on their own!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): Hey! I'm not sure whether I'll be much help but I will have a go at answering this question. I agree, the words alone and lonely are hard to distinguish, and whether you actually can distinguish them at all is a question in itself. You say that you like being alone, but you are looking for Ms. Right. Are you ready for her or do you need to be alone for a bit longer first? It can take a lifetime to find your soulmate so don't give up yet. You are very much like my sister. She loves beings along. She has friends but she much prefers to go home to a quiet house all to herself. But she hasn't completely ruled out a man in her life. I think that you just need time. Enjoy being alone and enjoy spending time with different people. Go out to places that you enjoy and you will meet many people with the same interests as you. I wish you luck and I hope I've been helpful.
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