A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, where can i start?? I'm a year away from college, I'm excited but worried because i probably wont be seeing my very best friend 'a', ever... we are a group of 4 best friends, but me and 'a' stay together like sisters, and the others visa versa. im the type that, when i fall in love, the face of that certain someone will stay in my head for at least 3 days if i dont see them after, but i see my best friend alomst everyday, so im literally head over heals for this person. thing is, its a SHE, and i dont know how this is working out, because i am ALSO a she. when we first made friends, when i was around eleven, she was only considered a best friend, but as we started maturing, we both started cracking dirtier jokes and looking at boys abit more intimately, and getting closer. my feeling were hitting me hard, and i really want to tell her, but one time (okay a few times) when i ask her, what would she think of [another best friend] if she was lesbian, and she says that she wouldnt care, but she wouldnt exactly feel comfortable around her, especially if she tried hitting on her. i dont want her to feel uncomfortable around me....i hope this is just a phase of teenage life where you explore your life abit more and that it will soon fade out, because i DO like boys as well. i was thinking of telling her on the night of prom, because i probably wont be seeing her ever again and i can get over it, until i found out that we are both applying for the same college. AARGH WHAT DO I DO??!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): Im a big sister myself, but i dont have any older sisters, and my only sister is 3. i wish i could talk with my mum about this, but she doesnt know, and im not going to tell her anytime soon, because maybe you're all right, maybe i'll grow out of this feeling. I would tell my dad, who is one of the wisest people i know, but he is absolutely AGAINST gay/lesbian people, sorry for those guys out there who are reading this.
I just had a sense of inspiration though, i was thinking that maybe i can talk to any uncles, aunts, cousins,so on.. i have a MASSIVE family, both grandparents with 8+ kids, all those children have children. i can tell my godfather, he is very funny and mocking as well, but he is extremely religious [dont know if that helps] and very understanding. i can tell my godmother because she is also one of the wisest people i know, and, even at 33, very fun to be with. i have a mass of older cousins, so i think ill be at good hands. i may wait another 6 months or so, and then i will feedback to all of you.
THANQ SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT GUYS, YOU WERE A GREAT HELP
XX
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (9 August 2010):
Honey, the best one to talk too about it w/ if you have a big sister! talk w/ her or your mom. or wait and see if you really are.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Don't worry, 1 in 3 females experience some degree of homosexual thoughts, desires etc at some point in their life. The fact that this behaviour manifested originally from talking about guys further suggests that you are not genuinely lesbian. This is rather much more common than you may think, while you and 'a' are very close freinds and you have been having much more intimate discussions, the topics discussed have a sort of 'mental tag' in this case to you're friend, this results in you ptojecting sexual desire on someone who is already a very close friend, which although powerful, really doesn't mean you are a lesbian. I do however suggest that you keep these intimate discussions to a minimum until these feelings subside if you want to avoid any difficulties. I hope you do not ignore my opinion for being that of a male who couldn't possibly understand, but rather trust my opinion as that of an experienced psychologist
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Well, maybe you should tell her, and if she was a real friend she would understand what your feeling and help you out, tell you her exact feelings this would also help you out if you new what she felt.
Apart from its harder said that done i understand, so maybe you should just wait, see how college life goes, meet new freinds new lads or girls, that you can start talking to getting involved with.
If that dosnt work out maybe you should then tell her how you feel, if you dont grow out of the feeling.
xx
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