A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi, thank you in advance for reading this.I met my boyfriend two years ago, he lives 1 hours drive from me.After the first 9 months I found out he was seeing another woman, he told me that he would never see her again, and i believed him and gave him a second chance. two months later he rang me up to say that he couldnt see me anymore. i was devastated, but i left it there and tried to move on, just as i was starting to feel a bit better, he got back in contact (6 wks later) and told me that he realised he had made a mistake and that he still loved me. I still had feelings for him so i agreed to meet up, we got back together not long after. I did feel happy, and because i loved him was prepared to make a fresh start. things had been going ok until i found out 3 days ago that he has been emailing pictures of his private parts to some girl he swears he has never met or has any intentions to meet. on the email he wrote " ok here you go xx". he was supposed to be comming to stay at mine in a few days, i told him on the phone that i did not want him to come as i could not trust him, he got a bit upset saying he wants to come as he hasnt done anything wrong, that he loves me and does not want us to part. i have these strong feelings for him, which i wish i did not have, and maybe i am not seeing things clearly, is there a chance that he means it? or am i deluding myself? any response is appreciated thankyou
View related questions:
got back together, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): I know it is really hard to move on from someone who are are so used to live with. You definately love the guy because youre so forgiving but sometimes its not good for your own happiness. That guy has been making you unhappy for so long, and you keep giving him chances thinking that he is gunna change.
i dont believe in once a cheat, always a cheat. but when you gave him a chance to change, he still did not change did he??
See Miss,
I am a lot younger than you to advise you but my life has been quite rough and at times, i have been through such times when you cant let go, but you wanna find a better way out
i suggest dont meet him for 2 weeks atleast. In those 2 weeks, try and do all those things that make you happy and doesnt involve him. Try to move on. And ignore him completely in this time. After that see his reaction to it. Do you really want a guy in your life who doesnt love you back, when you love him enough to forgive him whenever he asks ? i know you will find better but in this 2 weeks time, try and figure out what you want for urself - a crappy relationship with some happiness and love or being single which gives you the freedom to hook up with better men in the world?
When we are confused, all we need is some time, for ourselves to be happy and sort things out
:)
take care and let me know how things go :)
i love you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): No you are not a fool, you are just in love. This must be very difficult for you but you have to think very carefully. Can and will you be able to trust him?
"Our memory is a monster; You forget...it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you or hide things from you...and summons to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory, but it has you"! (quote by John Irving)
Please think carefully if you can see yourself in a happy, trusting and loving relationship with this guy?
You deserve the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, JoKnows +, writes (28 December 2008):
The basis to any relationship is trust. Your boyfriend has broken your trust on numerous occasions. Ok, so there is the argument that people deserve a second chance, but he is now on his fourth. You have evidence that he has sexually been in touch with another woman and yet he is denying this, meaning he easily lies to you. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who ultimately will hurt you in the future as he has done in the past and present? You say you; 'have these strong feelings for him'. This is not love, this is habit. Don't waste your time on him any longer.
...............................
|
