A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’m very confused about this guy’s behaviour and need advice. I started talking to a guy, he used to text once in a few days but very detailed msgs about some mutual topics , never opened up about himself much emotionally. I didn’t mind cause we were just talking, we met and travelled together. He did not sleep with me saying he doesn’t want to rush into anything, he treated me nice and he is a good person, I can tell. But even after he left , he barely called and he doesn’t texts much. Even when I was with him, I saw he isn’t a phone person so I was patient but then I brought it up saying how can things go ahead without communicating? It’s not like he isn’t interested, he does show interest, he is straightforward too , he said he is sorry his bad communication is creating problems and he did make effort but when he again didn’t open up much , I confronted him. It’s been 6 months and I can’t say we have head a heart to heart . He said taking it slow thing again, saying he doesn’t wanna mess up and understand the situation before rushing. I agree we have met just once and it’s recent but am I overthinking for trying to analyse his situation? It’s still feels like he is hurting or still not over someone by the way he talks or the way he kept getting lost at some songs , I don’t know. The way he says “he just doesn’t wanna make some mistake as time reaches you think “. Am I wasting my time here ? We exchange texts once or twice a day and no calls . No deep topics , ever . Can’t claim I know him that well.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2022): This is not any sort of relationship and never will be - dream on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2022): Sounds like a guy on the rebound after a breakup. He's dating just to get back on saddle; but he's not serious about anything. I suggest you stop pushing, it won't yield any results.
You're wasting your time, because you're basically babysitting his emotions. I must advise you to keep your feelings under control; especially, when you're not certain of where a guy is coming from. You can't allow yourself to get desperate, or antsy, about how a guy feels about you; and start allowing yourself to become anxious and frustrated. Many women make a huge mistake of getting too attached, based on a few conversations or dates; when romantically, very little is being reciprocated by their object of interest.
If six months has passed, and you're still where you started; that's pretty much an indication you're in the friend-zone, or you're just somebody to keep him company when he's going crazy with frustration over his ex. Another red-flag is when you've known somebody this long, and he hasn't opened-up about anything. Mysterious can be intriguing; but it might also be a warning something sinister is amidst.
I think you need to reel-in your feelings and cut him loose. This isn't going anywhere, and you shouldn't keep trying; because your pride will make you behave irrationally. You'll start to feel rejected and toyed with. Meanwhile, he's learning too much about you and what makes you tick; while offering you nothing about himself in return. That's how people gain the advantage and manipulate you.
You've traveled with a man you know practically nothing about? He doesn't want to mess-up? Seems to me he's more than messing things up, by being closed-off and weird.
He's wasting your precious time. Your emotions will make you act in desperation in an attempt to make the time and energy you've invested account for something. Preserve your dignity. The fact that you're writing DC is proof that you realize this is going nowhere; but you can't make yourself let-go. The longer you hold-on, the more attached you'll get; and the harder it gets to move-on. He's too old to babysit.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2022): test
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 December 2022):
 He sounds more lonely than interested. He likes someone to talk to here and there but he really doesn't want to invest too much of himself into this "thing".
Texting is fine but do you guys see each other in person? Meet up?
If not.. Then I would regard him as a potential friend nothing more. And invest accordingly but also look elsewhere for a long-term partner, this one is... a waste of time.
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (18 December 2022):
 To be honest after 6 months i think you should be further than just exchanging texts once or twice a week, and no calls. I would treat your relationship with him with some trepidation, and air on the side of caution because i think he might very well be keeping you dangling, leaving you hanging wondering if there will ever be any future.
Am i wasting my time here?. Well i think the answer to that question is yes. You have known him 6 months, never had a heart to heart, texts every now and then and no calls, come on OP, i think its time to cut this one loose don't you.
Don't let this go on any further, don't waste any more time on him, i would advise deleting and blocking him and finding someone who gives you the time, love, and respect you deserve.
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