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female
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anonymous
writes: hi im a 23 yr old female, i have always thought of myself as a straight woman and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7 years. last year i got a new job and met a woman who i have become attracted to, we are really good friends, but i find myself thinking about her all the time, i really dont want to tell her as i dont want to ruin our friendship. i dont know how she feels about me, but whe we talk it feels like she isnt just looking at me, she is actually loking into me, if that makes any sense? is it just wishfull thinking on my part that she may be interested in me also? i dont know what to do, i need advice! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2006): How would you deal with this situation if you were attracted to a man at work?
Or are you more worried about whether you are straight or gay?
The thing with the way we perceive the world is that we tend to distinguish things by their apparent differences and in the case of sexuality it is no different. Up until very recently, we've pretty much grouped sexuality in to either straight or gay. I don't think you are gay just because you are having unexpected feelings for a women, even though it's never happened before. I think sexuality is far more complex than simply being "one" or the "other" and that you should allow yourself to simply "feel" and understand these feelings you have for this women, without having to question yourself, or your sexuality. Attraction comes from far more than just a certain biological sex, or gender. It is perfectly normal for straight people to find people of their own sex physically attractive, and perhaps this women has certain traits together with an appealing personality that is enhancing your feelings for her.
With this said, I go back to my first question. Are you going to deal with this in any different way than you would if it were a man you were attracted to? If you are in a happy relationship with your guy, you should do whatever you would do in this circumstance and if you have been with him for 7 years I would assume you have encountered this situation before. If you want to retain the relationship with your guy, do not entertain these feelings, mearly see them for what they are. Concentrate on knowing you are in a committed relationship and focus your feelings on that and your boyfriend.
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