A
female
age
30-35,
*star777x
writes:I have been with a guy for 3 yrs and been engaged for a yr and a half. when we first met everything was amazing and we both decided we wanted to marry eachother and worked towards it. I knew he had broken up with his last 2 gfs and they were serious relationships and they went crazy after he left. I heard a lot of rumours about him through my church and my parents didnt want me to date him because he was called a 'user' and a heartbreaker. He assured me he was different and asked me to take a risk with him.After a few months I began to realise he was in a lot of debt, debt that he felt he was drowning in and i did my best to help him. he was constantly stressed.I was only 17 when we met and i did what i could (he is 3 yrs older) I washed his clothes, fed him, made him lunch and dinner to take home. Did everything he wanted and needed because i loved him. I would work hard to help him pay off the debt and in return he was sweet and always told me he was blessed to have me in his life.About a yr later we slipped up and i fell pregnant. He automatically got scared and asked me to abort (he was in bible college then and a youth leader he didnt want people to know) He basically dropped me off to every appointment at the doctors and ultrasounds while he hung around at the mall and waited for me to call. We booked it in and one the day i was so scared and guilty, i am a christian and i knew it was against everything i belived in. A few mins before i went into the clinic i pleaded with him to help me. I have a family and his family is wealthy, i had no real reason to give it up besides the shame i and my family would face. He looked at me and asked me "do u love me?" and i knew i couldnt say no. After the procedure he promised to give me the life ive always wanted and that he would love me forever and even more because i sacrificed alot that day.I became depressed and over time i began to notice lies. Small lies, that were so silly, like lying about giving a cd to my friend. And eventually they got bigger. Lies like, he was going to court for armed robbery, lawywers names, court date.. ALL MADE UP!he also lied about being sick in hospital, all these illnesses he never had..Lied about being rolled for all his money.. the list goes on! I also began to realize he was ripping off my family and over charging them at every chance they could when he would buy things and mom would pay him back. I know because I found the reciepts and it didnt add up. My mother gave him $700 for a mini laptop and he bought her a $300 second hand one. We fought and he threatened to leave so i told him to just forget it. a laptop isnt worth a relationship.After a 2 years with him I found out he had cheated on me several times. And i know i sound like a complete moron but I forgave evrytime and tried to work through it. I wanted to stand by him all the way and i believed he would eventually realize how good hes got it. I am attractive and i have always had men after me, i knew i was great for him. I love him and care for him so much and i knew he would never find someone that cared this much.He eventually moved in with my family and even when we dont fight the night before, I would wake up with him gone. The first two times he left a note for me telling me i didnt deserve to put up with his dishonesty.I chased him both times and told him there was nothing we couldnt solve. The last time he left was a week ago, 3 weeks before the wedding date. And i feel like im going insane. This time he went as far as changing his number, his email address is closed, his old home where he would go every now and then is empty. He completely disappeared on me and this time i got no note. I have no idea where he is.I woke up and my phone was gone, my money was gone, he took everthing that belonged to him and he totally wiped himself off the earth.I stayed up all night and woke up early to make the invitations and he saw me work hard! he saw my sisters and my mom buy their dresses and he never said a thing. He knew how excited we were!!When he told me he sent out the invites something told me it wasnt true. I cant explain it. He sent them on monday, and up till thursday i asked him everyday, Are u lying to me? and he said, dont be ridiculous! theres no secret plan or anything!He said that it was christmas week and the post office was busy. On Christmas eve, it was definitely going to be in their mailboxes and when i woke up that morning he was gone.No one ever got them. He threw them away.I dont know what hes told his family, but the hang up on me. I spent every cent i have on this wedding and the money that he spent on the reception, I found out he took back 2 weeks ago. I feel so stupid and used.The date of the wedding was booked. I have my dress, flowers, everything u can name. I dont know what to do. i feel pathetic for believing every lie and even when i knew it was a lie he made me feel stupid for questioning him.Im not sure if there are more lies i dont know about, but this is for anyone who knows or is involved with a compulsive liar.RUN AWAY!! I wish i listened and now I am embarrassed because he left me so close to the date. I now have to tell everyone i know there is no wedding and he left me.You cannot LOVE a compulsive liar. Itll tear u apart.The person that has the upper hand in the relationship is the one who cares less.U cannot change someone. They need to want it.Please learn from my mistake. I am heartbroken I eventually found out his new number and all he did was reject my calls and tell me he would take action if i tried to call again.I waited outside for days till it got dark for him to come back and break up with me. But he never came.I still dont know what ive done wrong. I was not perfect but i honestly did my best.Its been a total mind f*** and i feel that maybe it was better off this way, i noticed that i started to constantly doubt myself and ive also heard that ppl can seriously go crazy over things like this.The night before he left he kissed me and told me I was the woman of his dreams and he couldnt wait to marry me. Im so confused!!If there are christians out there, please pray for me. I feel like everything i knew about my future is gone.If u have any advice or shared a similar experience please write back to me. And please dont tell me im stupid, i already know that iv been used.
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cheated on me, christian, christmas, debt, depressed, engaged, flowers, heartbroken, liar, money, moved in, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (31 December 2010):
 I dated a girl who was a compulsive liar when I was alot younger.
Teh best thing I did, was wash the word "sucker" off my forehead, and deleted her number, finally I told her never to speak to me again.
Nuff said
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