A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal that my boyfriend has been befriending/talking with other girls lately? I'm in a serious long term relationship with my boyfriend. We're together every weekend so I notice things here and there.,For the past couple of months he's formed a few new friendships with other girls. He's told me about them, didn't hide anything. I've noticed he's been staying up later than usual on his PC. He had a conversation with a girl friend via text that made me uncomfortable. They were basically telling each other their whole life story, some very personal info. The messages she was sending we're very flirtatious. He showed me their conversation. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I feel like he's trying to get to know some of these girls as if he's looking at other options, or forming some sort of back up plan, which is weird because I thought our relationship was going great. Am I crazy to think my boyfriend would do this? We have our own circle of friends, he's never really gone out of his way to meet and talk with other girls. He's a lot more social lately. I just have a gut feeling something is not right. Whether his intentions are in the wrong or he's browsing new options, I just don't know for sure but he's just not acting like his usual self.I hinted to him a couple of days ago that something is just not right lately, and he said something like "I've just been talking to some new friends lately, what's wrong with that?" Well nothing would be wrong except for the fact that our relationship has been different ever since he's befriended these new girls and the conversations make me uncomfortable.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 February 2015):
 I agree either he is totally clueless about it... (and my ex husband and current husband are both like this) or he's very very SMART and is practicing a version of "keep your friends close and your enemies closer"
Often I've seen my husband get hit on by girls who did not know he was married (to an older woman) and watch them try so hard to "get his attention" as it were... it's actually laughable to me. they think they have a shot with him and they don't. He's so not interested in meeting or dating anyone that he doesn't even pick up on the signals.
does he tell the new girls about you?
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 February 2015):
 I think your BF is being a tad naive or really underhanded. He is not telling you about these girls to make YOU feel better about the " friendships" he is pretending to be transparent, so HIS actions doesn't SEEM so wrong. After all, you were OK with him chatting up girls, right? BUT on the other hand he IS showing you the conversations, so he isn't hiding anything either (which honestly is a good thing for the most part).
It's a little amazing that his NEW "friends" are all females, and NOT in your circle of friends but online and over text.
Do these girls KNOW he has a GF? And where exactly did he met them?
I'm not saying he can't make new friends or that they can't be females, but I do think he has found that a guy who has a GF attract ALL sorts of chicks.
Have you asked him, how he would feel if YOU were to make new MALE friend and chatting in the same way? Would he be OK with that ( not saying that you should, but it might actually put it in perspective to him).
Does he sit and text these girls when you are over? So his priority is texting them versus spending time with you?
I would not tell him YOU CAN'T talk to them anymore because it makes me uncomfortable. I would tell him, I don't think it's OK to flirt with these so-called friends. Maybe suggest they come out with the group of friends so you can met them? And yes, I would honestly tell him that it makes YOU feel like he is shopping around, NOT "just" making new "friends". You have to be honest with him.
I would personally be less available for a while, MAKE him WORK to see you and spend time with you. Hang out with friends (females) instead of him. Make yourself YOUR priority.
Could be while you two are doing "fine" it's getting a little stale. Do you two go out, just the two of you and do things? or sit at his/yours n the week-ends?
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