A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I started dating about two months ago, the relationship is going pretty fast. We both work interstate for 2 weeks at a time, but we have spent all our time off together. Whilst being at home he told me he wants to meet my family (extended family and all), and i have already met his family and friends, he wants to meet my son, he wants me to move in at the end of the year, and he bought me a very expensive present. However when I said i wanted to take him on a holiday next year, he didn't speak to me for a couple of days, and then when i finally got ahold of him, he said he didn't know what he wanted anymore and that he was scared of commitment. I am so confused! Should I suggest we take things more slowly? Should I just get out now (i don't really want to)? Please help me understand!Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (10 October 2010):
Hi there. Perhaps things were moving along a bit too fast and then he realized it.
The reason things are moving more quickly, is probably because you both work interstate - but in different states to each other, or at least too far away to see each other. So breaks have been it.
So you really have a long distance relationship. Consequently, you feel you have to make the most of the time you do have together. When you do see each other in these breaks, there is probably a sense of time running out so you've naturally been hurrying things along a bit more than usual. Over time, he has probably realized this and started to wonder what was the hurry. You are both very young, it's not like you are in your 50's. There's plenty of time really.
What you said - slowing things down - is a very wise suggestion. To try to hurry it all along, might make you have some regrets later on, and probably sooner rather than later. We can see that it's already happening.
Your suggestion of taking him on a holiday next year, might have scared him off a bit. That might have been the point at which he knew things were happening all too fast.
There really is no hurry to get serious and move towards marriage just yet. If it's going to happen, it will in good time, but it can't be forced to happen any sooner than it's meant to.
In the meantime, just enjoy each other's company and have fun, laugh and be happy. Try not talking about the future at all. When you do talk about the future, it can all start to sound (to him), like it's already been set in cement. Like there's no other possibility. It might make him feel a bit trapped. Be very aware of that.
Take each day one day at a time and enjoy it to the fullest. Don't think about tomorrow - just enjoy today. Live each day this way.
I sincerely hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Ok dont panic, and dont end things, two months is quite a short time so just tell him you really like him and that you can both take things slower if he is comfortable with that and just let things work out naturally dont plan to far ahead of yourself and just take things slowely and dont plan to far ahead.
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