A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been bothered by my boyfriend's past relationships recently, because he kept bringing them up over the course of our relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for four years and he occasionally brings up his exes. We met when I was a sophomore in high school and he was a senior. He told me his past two relationships were bad because his first girlfriend used him for sex and and his second was too clingy. Both girlfriends were during his sophomore and junior year of high school. I however love him even though our relationship is on and off all the time. What surprised me the most about him telling me these things is that he had a girl stalk him in middle school whom he never liked. He had a photography class in the summer of his junior year and she was there. They are both the same age. He told me that she kissed him. They never dated or anything like that before he met me (or not that I am aware of). He also hid his relationships from his mother but I can't be sure. All this past stuff bothers me and I cannot look forward to the future because of it. He was my first. Am I overthinking or is this an actual problem? Thank you for the help.
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male
reader, Garbo +, writes (14 November 2015):
 You are most definitively over-thinking this, each and every of the "EXs" particularly the middle school stalker. My suggestion would be that you two put a block on talk about his EXs. Talking about past relationships is seldom, if ever, a good idea, and so with both of you: just drop the subject and focus on the future where two of you are in it. Focus on building and creating positive memories of you two together instead of ruminating on things in the past.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 November 2015):
 I think you're over thinking it and if you continue, then it could be a problem.
He should have more sense than to discuss his exes. Next time he starts just, calmly and matter of factly, tell him you don't want to hear any more about them. Don't get into lengthy discussions because it will make you sound weak and insecure.
Focus on thoughts instead of feelings and keep it brief but not curt.
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