A
female
age
36-40,
*razylady
writes:I had a best friend for 7 years, and we fought all the time, but we were like sisters, inseparable! Always there for each other. Then a new girl came along and screwed everything up, try to turn us against each other. I was going through a personal issue (dont feel comfortable sharing it sorry), they knew about and I was 19/20 of age at the time, and my best friend did somthing to make the issue worse, and I immediatly cut her off because I was heated and needed time to cool down (2weeks), she went crazy (stalking me, changing password, emails, talking crap on 2 social networks including my own page) within and after those weeks that made me blow her off for 4ish months i was so angry. I know its long and I felt so guilty after I couldn’t face her. When I tried she'd ignore me and that other girl would get in our business(she'd cause drama even before and during my personal issue). Anyways we finally ended up talking 6 months later and basically it ended up with me being the the worst friend ever, everythings my fault blah,blah. I was heart broken! People say I need to get over it, she’s not a good friend but I cant its been 3 years, she was my sister, I still feel guilty even though I know its both our faults, I just dont get why we couldn’t call it truce. How do I get over it!Sorry its long but have another story. Another girl I been best friends with for 5 years dumped me as well 3 months before my wedding! She was my matron of honor! The excuse? Her husband doesint like me (my clothes, my way of talking, my looks, personality, etc.) Ive probably spent time with him about as much as you can count your fingers. I was shocked! She cried to me saying I’m affecting their marriage, and when he hears my name he fights with her etc.. I felt horrible, I told her it was ok and that I understand even though I was so upset. She said that she'll help me with my wedding still and wants to be there for me and I said ok. I ended up calling her husband to try to apologize and figure out what I did or what I can do, he said totally opposite of what she said. He's like we I do like you but I dont like how dress and ect but we I told my wife was all her, I had no say. I want her to be friends with you, bull crap, I’m so confused at this point, I gave up. Who does this to someone right before their wedding. Not only that but when her family left her she moved in with me, who threw her bridal shower and Bachlorete..me, who came to her wedding me and my family not hers. I was her family. I did so much for her and I got dumped. I was forced to get over that to and to top it off after that day not ever did I get help, a hello, a phone call or a congratulations!! My weddings over now and still nothing, I’m hurt and don’t know what to do.This is the last story. After i lost my first bff I got a new friend that we’ve been friends for 2 and a half/3 years we recently started being bffs for about 2 years now. It seemed to be a great friendship. We'd do lots of things together, but she recently had a baby from a man that is horrible to her. There always back and forth fight but during her pregnancy he wasnt there one bit. I was there with her as soon as she got the news, I was on the phone with her, I was sleeping over, I was at the hospital, you see my drift. She did come though to my engagement night that ment the world to me of course as well. Anyhow she had the baby and has been a busy bee and so have I planning the wedding, she was my maid of honour till she took herself out because it was too much with the new baby, understandable. Anyways point is she didn’t come to my wedding because her father threatened her that he’d stop supporting her and the baby if she attended my wedding, guess her father never was fond of me either. I tryed to be understanding since I know she’s a single mom, though I am upset considering it was the one day I needed my best friend there I tried to ignore my feelings. Once I came back from my honeymoon we didn’t speak till about 2 months later because I ended up texting her how she was doing, I guess deep down I was looking for another apology besides the one she did on the phone before my wedding. The text was all about herself and the baby daddy drama and then a second of how’s married life, which she asks 2 months later. Well the convo didn’t go far, she asked me to lunch one day because she was in my area already but I was working,told her next time. So I just found out she went to this big *** party a Bunch of our friends / ppl we knew were having. Her baby wasnt with her, dunno who she went with but I wasnt invited and she never bothered inviting me, so I’m definitely hurt and questioning our friendship. I mean I know its just a party but I always invited her to them as well and she had to decline because of the baby, and the one time she goes out she leaves me out? I’m so confused, please help! I feel like with every friendship I have somthing happens, it makes me feel like its my fault and I dunno what I’m doing wrong! Sometimes I think I’m just too nice I guess I dunno, but point is I still have yet to find that great friendship I had with my first Bff, I feel like theres a big whole in my life.
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female
reader, crazylady +, writes (21 May 2011):
crazylady is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't believe I did anything, I dnt do drugs, I dnt drink, I dnt party 24/7, I'm very respectful towards everyone. I dnt lie or make ppl do it or do bad things. I'm the kind of person that if you need me ill be right there. And if I do something wrong I always apologize and try to be humble. Ppl tell me I'm to nice all the time maybe that's y ppl walk all over me. Over never even been in a fight. I try to avoid arguments. But I def should just ask her what's wrong, though I think the girl was right sometimes ppl just don't realize how they treat others and you get to have high expectations wich always fail.
A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (18 May 2011):
You've listed 3 instances of your friends dumping you, and 2 out of 3 of them was because someone else told them to (husband and father). This is really confusing, and makes me wonder why they would do that. For your friendship to be causing issues with their marriage and to cause a dad to threaten to cut off his child? That's extreme. And I have no idea why that happened? So it's up to you to figure out why they dislike you. Did you monopolize your friend's time? Did you influence them to do anything bad (drugs, alcohol, stealing, spending too much, etc. etc.)? Did you go out with them to clubs and meet guys? Did your friends lie because of you? Were you rude to the husband or father? The list goes on. Really, you either have to think about why they disliked you, or ask your friends to tell you why.
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