A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidWill I ever find love again? I dated my first boyfriend for 3 years. He loved me and I loved him. He was kind, loyal, attentive, honest - just a great guy and great partner. For some crazy reason I broke off with him. He wanted to get married but I was only 21 and didn't feel ready to settle down yet. Instead I went overseas. Whilst away I had lots of friends but was always on the 'look out' for someone special. I met a man at work who i liked, but was engaged to someone else. I stayed away from him but he lied and told me he was single and would I go out to dinner. I stupidly agreed and fell in love with him. In about 6 months time he asked me to marry him and I said yes. I worry that I am addicted to the wrong men and 'exciting' situations. I was on the pill at the time but somehow got pregnant, so he pushed for marriage. The marriage was awful, just his parents and my parents in a registry office a million miles from home, with a bunch of roses from Safeway, all arranged in 2 weeks. I was so scared, and just went along with it all. I found out 2 weeks after we were married that he was still in contact with his ex and stumbled upon some 'I still love you' type emails..I then had a miscarriage at 3 months. He was a liar and a cheat. I was 25. I then moved back to Australia (he came too) but I wasn't really 'right' in the head. We tried to make it work but he never really loved me that much. A little after we had been here for 1 year we had a perfect little girl. He was increasingly nasty to me and I found more emails to the ex, things like 'time and distance make my love for you fade, plus I have a wife and baby who need me...'. When our child was 2 I saw a dating site on the Internet history - he had a profile up as single. He was seeing other women. I finally asked him to leave and he moved in with his new girlfriend 2 weeks later.A few months after he loved I decided I would like to date myself, so I posted an add and met a few guys, all nice, all liked me but only one I was attracted to. We started dating, but some things were a bit strange. It turned out that he was still married and had lied about being single. He lied about ending his marriage and said as soon as he had his own place he would be with me, and that the marriage ending had nothing to do with me. I was still crazy in love with him (and still am) but have told him it is over. I can't go through the same pain again. Now I am a divorced single mother in love with an unavailable man (who I want to forget about). I still think about my first boyfriend (who is now happily married with kids) and wonder if I will ever meet someone as great as him again.I am slim, attractive, own my own home outright, have a uni degree, great friends and family, no 'weird' hang ups, am very healthy and generally described as a very bubbly, kind and happy person. What people don't know is that all I want is to find love that lasts and have a happy family. Is there something wrong with me? Will this ever happen? Sometimes I think I should just give up and get used to being single forever. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
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at work, divorce, engaged, fell in love, his ex, liar, moved in, the internet, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (19 April 2007):
 You'll find that person, dont worry. Life has a funny way of showing us. You sound like you have a rough time, but dont get down about it too much.
Keep motivated and things will soon turn themselves around. I mean you have got your child, your house, so your almost there... Alot of people would be jealous of your achievements.
Theres nothing wrong with what your looking for. A love that lasts does seem hard to find in life, but it IS there and you will succeed in finding it sooner or later.
Dont give up and enjoy single life while you have it.
Best wishes..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Well ur just goin through a rough patch u will find MR. Great wen the time is right!Hope this helps!x
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