A
female
age
36-40,
*haoticneutral0
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years he is 22 and I am 21. He has never been an extremely affectionate person but lately he hasn't been affectionate at all or anything. He recently started working 2 jobs so all he does is work and sleep and I am left to sit there while he is sleeping doing nothing. Another major problem is our sex life, he never wants to have sex ever. I always have to initiate it, i can't remember the last time he initiated. He always has some excuses for why we can't do it. It ranges from I am to tired to flat out saying NO. I can't help to wonder if he is simply not attracted to me or has lost all interest in me. I really feel unloved, unattractive, not special the list goes on. I can't stop thinking about it, the last few days I have tried to talk to him about it and we almost broke up last Tuesday. Every time we talk about it he gets mad at me, he rolls his eyes, tells me how annoying I am, that I am being a bitch ect. All I want is to feel special and loved and I just wish he could understand that. I am just looking for some advice as to what I should.
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broke up, sex life, unloved Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chaoticneutral0 +, writes (23 May 2010):
chaoticneutral0 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much. Just to add a few things I prob should have added. I am his first girlfriend he has never had any other girlfriend. I know he is not cheating on me because either he is at work or he is with me at home. He is not a very social person. He needs to have two jobs because just having one isn't covering his bills. I think I have a lot of thinking to do.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): Do you want to end up like this?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ot-ready-to-hang-up-the-towel-just.html
Enough said...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): You describe the man I married 30 years ago. Raising a family masked the issues, but after the kids were gone they were maginified.
If this man has no respect for you and no regard for your feelings what redeeming qualities could he possibly have that keeps you coming back?
You're obviously an attentive, feeling person, but your guy is a sponge that will suck the life out of you. Save yourself years of heartache and move on. In the end, the one who gives nothing, gets what he deserves...nothing.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 I think he's so tired he can hardly function. Why does he need two jobs?? If this doesn't change I would consider moving on. Life is too short to spend it with someone who makes you unhappy. You deserve to be with someone who helps you love life!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 May 2010):
 Okay, there could be a couple of things going on. Part of it is that he is indeed exhausted. You say he's working two jobs? That's a lot to deal with! He may be feeling pressure from you, which is making him feel self-conscious and resentful that you're not appreciating his hard work. He might not have had the libido he used to.
The other thought is that he's getting his satisfaction from somewhere else. You can't confront him about that - only observe and see what he's up to.
If you don't think the relationship can be saved, then end it with him. But sometimes, there is an ebb and flow to any relationship. Sometimes, people just get tired and worn out. Instead of starting arguments with him, go out and BE the person you want him to be. Give him a little extra attention, tell him how much you appreciate him, but that's only if he's not cheating on you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): At first,, I would have said your boyfriend may well being suffering from depression but the fact that he has never shown any affection towards you at all sends out alarm bells. Putting it bluntly end the relationship, yes it could be he had a similar relationship with his parents, or he saw one of them being emotionally cold to the other. Whatever, its bad news, I could suggest that he see a therapist to discuss why he is distance, but the fact he calls you a bitch and rolls his etc signals underneath he isn't nice at all. Get out now and find someone willing to give you the love that you deserve and willing to give.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 If he cannot give you what you want , it is time to change to a newer model. Staying put will only make your heart bleed more.
He has taken you for granted and does not know how to appreciate you anymore.When a thing is gone , then will they know how to appreciate it.
He is only hall full and if you want a full cup , you will have to change to a larger cup.
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A
female
reader, chaarzx  +, writes (23 May 2010):
oh my, calls you a bitch? well from what you are saying, he doesnt deserve you! start sticking up for yourself? he calls you a bitch? just say to him hes a unconsiderate idiot that needs to communicate with you more, no good relationship is good withought communication, my love, tell him straight how you feel! but this time, so he doesnt roll his eyes and say your annoying say "right! listen to me! your going to listen to me, and not say a word until ive finished because im fed up with being treated like this i love you but......."
i really! hope this helped
chaarzx
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